


Tyger Bright

by Iyatiku



Category: Glee, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Klaine, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:24:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5715904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iyatiku/pseuds/Iyatiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the end of the world, Blaine Anderson - an ex-Jaeger pilot - bumps into fanboy and aspiring pilot Kurt Hummel. Both like to hide their pain in their past, but the fate of humanity rests on their shoulders, and they both have to learn that facing their pain is the only way to come together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Did he who made the lamb make thee?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JamesMcMullen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamesMcMullen/gifts).



> I have a strong and deep love for both of these universes, and a story like this was the only way I could think of to do them both justice. This is the third or fourth edit of this story, just in case you've come across a different version of it before. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

_When the stars threw down their spears_

_And water’d heaven with their tears:_

_Did he smile his work to see?_

_Did he who made the lamb make thee?_

_- **The Tyger** , William Blake_

The Wall of Life program, the idea wrought by a bunch of guys who actually thought concrete would keep the Kaiju’s out, was bullshit. Absolute bullshit. But it brought in money and it brought in morale so they all kept at it.

Blaine kept at it.

Of course it helped that it kept him busy, stopped him worrying about his parents or Cooper or Dalton. He’d build and eat and doze, get up in the morning to the same routine, lack of sleep rolling the days into one big variant of eating and building and staying alive. Sometimes, if he wasn’t feeling terribly exhausted, he’d hop on the back of a transit, drive into the city, get so drunk he couldn’t remember his own name, and then wake up the next day on the cold concrete Siberian street, being jabbered at in rapid fire Russian. But it brought in money and it brought in morale so he kept at it.

His feet were cold, his hands too, his cheeks pinched red with the biting northern wind. He was agile though, so brushing off the chill in his extremities, Blaine was able to warm his torso with each swing and step around the gigantic structure. If it was to protect from the roiling winter seas then Blaine could maybe see the logic, if not the extravagance. But trying to defend a country with a ten foot deep wall of concrete and iron, when your enemy was a collection of robot crushing, seemingly adaptable, interdimentional aliens, well…Blaine tried to think of other things.

Yes, he was a Jaeger pilot, and he was as bitter as morning coffee.

_It’s better this way,_  he would tell himself _, I’m safer_. The only thing was; it wasn’t his safety he worried for. He missed the thrill, the glory, the acceptance. Having another human being connected so painfully tight in his mind. He’d drifted well until a sudden change in his partner. One near miss and they couldn’t even meet each other’s eyes. Then being on the same wavelength became a near impossibility. A week long coma, several broken bones and numerous refused apologies later and here he was. At first being alone had scratched his optimism raw, and soon enough the happy-go-lucky, enthusiastic, music loving 20 something had become a bitter, isolated and anti-social mess. Then it got easier, and Blaine found it harder trying to keep the Jaeger part of himself alive, than merely being The New Blaine. So he stopped trying.

Situations changed, and it had just taken him a second to catch up.

He didn’t mind the cold really, and there was always the slow beat of his heart reminding him he was here and not there and lucky to be scrounging at all. That being said, sometimes it felt like it was missing a beat, like a synapse wasn’t quite catching its buzz. He felt empty handed, to put it simply, and it was starting to wear thin.

This particular morning, cool and clear enough to give the workers on the wall and nice view of the horizon, Blaine could be found scraping porridge from a paper pot with a plastic spoon, absorbing its warmth. Then he pulled on fingerless gloves and started to move, riveting a joint here, directing a crane there, until darkness rolled around and he turned for home. “Home” was a small cabin about a half mile’s walk from the wall, shared between him and another gentleman who happened to not speak a single lick of English. They communicated mainly with shrugs and sighs and gestures. They got by.

It might have been fate, if he believed in that kind of thing. His fingertips glowed red where they poked out of his gloves and he was so preoccupied trying to improve their condition that he bumped smack bang into someone walking in the other direction. The stranger went sprawling to the ground.

“Ah ah - Mne zhal’, Mne zhal’!” he shot quickly, gaining his balance again

“Ouch, god, oh shit” Blaine frowned.

“Wait, are you American?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, do you mind helping me up?”

“Oh sure, here” Blaine held out a hand. When the stranger’s face came into view however, he gasped. Blaine’s heart sank.

“You’re-”

“Mhmm yeah, yeah I am” he muttered.  _Shit._

The stranger watched him silently for a moment, an odd glint in his eye. Normally Blaine was faced with reverence or awe, sometimes sympathy, but this was… _relief?_

“I-I’m sorry, let me introduce myself. I’m Kurt, Kurt Hummel,” the stranger – Kurt – held out his hand. Blaine took it slowly, taken in by the man’s reaction. And his eyes. His eyes were quite something, too.

“Blaine Anderson,” he replied “but you already know that…”

“Oh god yeah, sorry about that just then. I used to be a very obnoxious fan,” Kurt’s cheek reddened with embarrassment, but it may have just been the cold.

“Used to be?” Blaine queried, intrigued

“Erm yeah, I was a big fan of the Jaeger program and…” he trailed off, looking around “do you…I mean, is there anywhere I could talk to you privately?”

Blaine’s eyes narrowed “there’s a place just down the street, it’s busy-”

“No, actually I have a better idea, if you’re willing to indulge me. Come back with me. I live alone, we won’t be interrupted. We can talk properly” He arched an eyebrow “I realise how that sounded, but I promise not to murder you.”

Blaine huffed out a laugh and scratched at the stubble on his cheek. “I don’t know…”

“Please” Kurt said, dragging out the vowels “I  _cannot_  let Blaine Anderson just walk past me. I would never live it down. Plus you’re kind of a hero.” He shrugged one shoulder

“M'not a hero” Blaine muttered, looking anywhere but at the man in front of him. His eyes may be pretty, but they were also disarming. He sighed, rubbing his own “okay. But I’ve got to be out by sunrise which is…god, 4 hours away. If I don’t get up to that wall early enough I’ll end up on the edge of the damn thing, then you’ll most likely never see me again.”

Kurt bounced a little on the balls of his feet and gestured in the right direction. Blaine swallowed. He felt wary and more than a little confused. But he recognised the feeling bubbling under all of that.

For the first time in a year, he felt  _daring_.

Kurt’s place wasn’t too far; around a few corners and they approached a two story building just like the ones making up the rest of the block. Blaine followed him up a steep set of steel steps to the second floor where he was let into a warm, if slightly sparse apartment. It seemed clinical and a little out of place. There wasn’t anything sentimental lining the wall like in Blaine’s own apartment. The kitchen looked barely used, the lights were too bright and a thin layer of dust sat undisturbed on top of the small dining table behind the couch.

Blaine took his hands out of his pockets, not feeling completely comfortable with the lack of personality the place had. “Have you been here long?” he asked as Kurt stepped into the kitchen to fill a kettle.

“Couple of weeks-oh, hold on” he fished a vibrating phone from his pocket, smiled up at Blaine and stepped from the room “sorry, one sec. Oui?”

Blaine watched suspiciously after him until his voice melted into the soft bass travelling through the thin walls separating lounge from bedroom. He looked around again, picked up the TV remote and pushed a few buttons. No response. Everything was still.

He rolled his shoulders with unease. He spied a pile of files sat on the coffee table and with a swift glance towards the small hallway that lead to the other room, lifted the cover on one of them. The text was in French, and the handwriting was loopy, but Blaine had enough school knowledge to riddle the first few sentences out.  _Candidate #36_ , he read,  _impulsive, background in electronics, origin unknown. Current location: Alaska, with movement around Ontario and as south as New York State. Classified: #4._

Blaine flipped the file shut just in time for Kurt to step back into the room, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

“Sorry about that. Worried relatives,” he explained, smile a little too bright.

“You have French relatives?” he asked, lowering himself onto the couch and trying his hardest not to look like he had just been rifling through the man’s personal property.

“My step family is French. I insisted they talk to me in French so I could improve my handle on the language. Tea? Coffee?” he offered, pulling mugs down from the cupboard.

“Coffee’s fine, thanks” he took his opportunity while Kurt’s back was turned to flip open the case file again. He picked up the page and took a peek at the next one down. In the corner was a plain picture of a woman in her late 20’s. Blaine frowned.  _I know that face…_

He jumped a little at the click of the kettle and dropped the file back into its place. Kurt smiled as he brought over the mugs. Blaine took it as warmly as he could.

“You speak Russian?” Kurt asked once he was seated “that’s a feat”

“Oh god no, I just learned what I needed to get by. The dialects over here are too similar to distinguish and learn”

“Yeah” Kurt nodded, taking a sip of his drink and watching carefully as Blaine did the same. He held it in his mouth for a second, letting it burn across his tongue and cheeks. Then he swallowed. “And the hair” Kurt added “is that a product of living over here too?”

Blaine reached up a hand to brush through his dusty blue curls and shrugged a shoulder “change is good sometimes. Just wanted to switch it up”

Kurt nodded. Blaine’s smile lacked lustre.

“Good coffee.” He stated.

“I brought it with me. The ration coffee out here isn’t the best, as I learnt the hard way. I was saving it for something good. I love the first batch out of the pot” he shrugged happily and took another sip.

“Mmm. So erm…what was it you wanted to talk about exactly?”

“Oh right yeah I just…well I mean what brings you out here? You all but disappeared after you know…”

“Yeah, didn’t really feel like sticking around after everything” he took an extra-large gulp of coffee, flinching a little at the burn, and tried to forget. Or tried not to remember. It was hard to tell.

“Of course. Why Siberia though? Surely there was something you could do closer to home.”

Kurt’s words echoed strangely in his ears. He scratched the back of his neck, feeling it warm up beneath his collar. “What? Yeah I guess I just…” he cleared his through “just wanted to uhm get away I guess – could we open a window or something? It’s a little hot”

“You can’t do that in here I’m sorry. One downfall of the place.”

Kurt’s features began to blur before his eyes. He squinted to keep him in focus. He watched Kurt place his coffee down as if he were sat at a great distance from him. Like down a dark black tunnel. “Lie down” he murmured, pushing at Blaine’s chest. He obeyed, falling listlessly down onto the couch behind him, head spinning wildly.

“I don't…” he tried but the words got lost on the way to his mouth and all that escaped his lips was silence and poisoned air from his lungs.

“I’m sorry” Kurt groaned “I’m really, really sorry, god this isn’t pleasant.”

“Whaaa?” he tried, eyes drooping slowly “Kurrrr...”

He watched Kurt reach for his phone and hold it up to his ear, he muttered something in French, and then his vision went black.

* * *

 

He woke up to a throat as dry as the Sahara and a pain in his head like he’d never felt before. He groaned, listening for sounds of human presence around him. Someone touched his shoulder.

“Blaine? Can you open your eyes?” he groaned again and tried his best to work against the force telling him in a million voices to keep his limbs still. He managed to crack them open a fraction, flinch at the light for a few seconds, before focusing on the face swimming above him. He recognized that face.

“Kim?” he croaked. The woman smiled

“Hey, big guy. Can you try and sit up for me?” With some help, he managed to arch his back and push himself into a sitting position on the cot. Pretty much every part of his body ached.

“What happened?” he asked as a plastic cup of water was pressed into his hand. He took a sip.

“You’ll be filled in later I promise. My job is to get you in working condition. There’s a vitamin accelerate in that water that should get you up on your feet within half an hour. Your body’s been through a tough ride in the last 24 hours.”

Blaine spat out the water he had left in his mouth “24 hours?! I’ve been out for 24 hours?”

Kim rolled her eyes and handed him a tissue to dab at the front of his shirt “Look, It was a surprise that you turned up here in the first place and I know as little as you”

Blaine took another sip of water and looked around. The room was as bare as the one he’d been in before, but at least it looked used “where am I?”

“Hong Kong, bro”

Blaine stared at her.

A knock came at the door and a tall, authoritative man stepped into the room. Blaine grimaced, starting to piece together the events to form some kind of logic sense. And then, of all people, Kurt stepped into the room behind him, hands clasped in front of him nervously. Blaine eyed him suspiciously.

“Blaine” the man started, holding out a hand “good to see you again”

“Okay, I don’t know what fucked up world we are living in right now but drugging someone against their own will really isn’t a good way to start off a stable relationship” he replied bitterly, glancing in Kurt’s direction again. The man smiled

“I’m sorry about that. We’ve been looking for you for a few months now. Kurt here was assigned to Siberia and just so happened to bump into you.”

“Oh really” he muttered, finishing the cup of water and placing it down. The man took a seat opposite him. Kurt stepped to the side out of the way, looking much more timid that he had the first time he and Blaine had crossed paths.

“We knew you wouldn’t come willingly, but we wanted you to hear us out”

“Well that’s some way to persuade me” he rolled his shoulders “but you got to know my answer to any of your requests is no”

The old man watched his carefully over peaked fingertips “we want to get you back in the program. We’ve missed you”

“Awww” Blaine cooed “how sweet. You missed me. You know what I miss? Being able to  _sleep_  at night” he replied coolly “and if it wasn’t for you or that asswipe Sebastian, I’d be home happily with my family. Maybe have a place of my own. I’d be  _safe_. No, I’m sorry man” he stood up

“Blaine listen, please. We have very limited resources here-”

“Oh so I’m a  _resource_  now? A disposable bag of bones you can chuck out there until my skin cracks huh? No chance” he reached for his jacket which lay neatly over the back of a chair in the corner of the room and moved for the door

“Blaine stop, think about this” the man insisted, standing with him

“The answer’s no Marshall. And it always will be. Good day. Thanks Kim” he aimed at the doctor stood quietly in the corner

“Blaine-” she started, looking concerned

“Sorry, I can’t” he pulled the door wide and stepped out into the corridor. He got at least ten paces in before he heard steps behind him. He kept going.

“Blaine, please wait”

_Kurt._  He turned on the spot “please listen to the Marshall, we really need you right now”

Blaine arched an eyebrow; almost smiling “Were you a genuine fan?” he asked. Kurt looked confused

“I don’t know-”

“It’s simple enough. Were you a genuine fan? Or was all that ‘you’re a hero’ a load of crap?”

Kurt frowned “you  _are_ a hero. That’s not a compliment, it’s a fact. You’re one of the best Jaeger pilots we ever had” he stated, as though it were obvious

“Oh wait,  _we_? I’m sorry, have you been out there in a bot before? Ever drifted, ever felt someone’s mind…” he’d stepped past Kurt, looked up the corridor behind him. It stretched long and thin. Familiar. He felt the blood pounding in his ears, his breathing started to pick up. He gripped his hands stiffly by his sides, willing the images away. He felt a hand on his arm.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked. Blaine spun away, arms raised as if Kurt held some kind of threat. “Are you okay?”

“I’m” he looked up the corridor and closed his eyes “fine, I’m fine. I just want to get out of here.”

“I know this is hard” Kurt started, stepping up to him again “but you cannot walk away from this. There’s too much riding on it.”

“You know what I wished I’d done” Blaine said through gritted teeth “Walked away from you. Just helped you up, and walked straight past you. Like now.” He stepped past him again and carried on down the corridor, keeping his eyes on the floor while he tried to keep himself in the here and now. Kurt didn’t follow him.

“Please” he heard from behind just before he turned the corner. He paused. “ _Please”_ Kurt said again, pleading. Blaine swallowed. “I just-”

He was cut off by a sound that wracked Blaine to bones with dread. His head snapped towards Kurt. “Please” he repeated over the sound. Blaine groaned and began to jog towards him as he turned on the spot and lead him down the corridor. They were joined by a mass of people all making for the same location. Some exited into elevators or rooms off the corridor but he and Kurt kept going, until they reached the control room at the end of the line. It was abuzz with activity, several different loud conversations going on at once. Blaine lurched forward and grabbed Kurt’s arm so he didn’t lose him in the chaos. They found their way to the only clear spot, right in front of a set of large observation windows. Blaine skidded to a halt. The Marshall took one look at Blaine clutching Kurt’s arm and nodded.

Blaine phased out of the noise and stepped out of the way, taking in the movement and the anxiety threading through the room. He couldn’t deny that it did something for him. He was breathing faster for a good reason; his head swam with determination, not dread. That feeling in the pit of his stomach was hope, not regret.

In essence, he felt like he was 19 again.

Kurt stuck his head out to find him and gestured him over. Blaine hesitated but stepped over nonetheless.

“Category three” the Marshall stated “it’s a mile out, too close to the city for us to deploy out there without it getting here to do some damage” he looked to Blaine. In fact, everyone looked to Blaine. He blanched

“Wh-what, you want my advice?” the Marshall blinked at him. He thought fast, through the shock “well uhm, sticking a Jaeger down in the city will do more damage that good. You want to draw it back out again. Do you have any regular artillery at your disposal?” he babbled, falling back into strategy mode. The corner of the Marshall’s lips twitched

“We do. Get on that now. Get every plane out there pulling its attention away from the city. From what I gathered,” he glanced quickly at Kurt. He nodded. “The Kaijus will follow what can be destroyed. They have a very strong focus once you give them something to fight. Get those jets out there and deploy whoever is ready to take it down. Minimal damage folks, let’s do what we can.”

Blaine observed nervously, hoping his idea would do some good. Kurt sidled over, clutching a file to his chest. “Good idea” he said quietly, close to his ear “nobody around here would think of that. They’re all for taking it down no matter what. You’re resourceful.”

Blaine grimaced “who knows how many jets will be taken out this way, but it could help minimise civilian casualties. If it works.”

“It’ll work” Kurt assured him. Blaine tried to nod. A thought popped up at the front of his brain

“Why did the Marshall look to you when he started talking about the Kaiju’s focus?” he asked. Kurt sighed

“Before I was part of this team I was living in California. I watched some of the earliest attacks. In fact I was in San Fran when the first attack happened” Blaine’s eyes widened. Kurt shrugged “I become the kind of groupie that didn’t buy the merch. I observed their behaviour. Instead of following their fighting technique I watched how their minds worked, how they adapted. They started fighting much differently when he Jaegers came along, but their focus stayed the same.”

“But that doesn’t explain why they looked to you for the go ahead.”

“It wasn’t a got ahead. I was chased once. I got caught in the Kaiju’s line of sight with about 12 others. It followed us. There were jets everywhere, tanks, military personnel with all sorts of hand held arms but it followed us.” He heaved another sigh “it was only a category 2, it got taken down pretty quickly but it taught us something. When the team up here looked me up and found all my martial arts credentials they hooked me up with a job in research. I’ve always wanted to be out there though.”

Blaine tried to close his mouth and feel like he hadn’t been an absolute asshole. He cleared his throat again “I’m sorry. About before. You didn’t deserve what I said to you.”

“I drugged you and brought you back to the place you probably hate most in the world” he chuckled “I deserved it.”

And despite all the tension and fear around them, Blaine couldn’t help but laugh along. For the first time in a very long time his cheeks ached with a meaningful smile. He didn’t want to break Kurt’s gaze but once the cheer went up they were jostled all over the place. Blaine was hugged from every direction, slapped on the back, slapped on the ass. Kurt watched quietly as Blaine soaked in the glory. The Marshall turned to him and held out his hand to be shook “that was some good thinking there Mr Anderson. We could really do with you on board. Would you think about reconsidering?”

Blaine looked up at Kurt stood a few steps away. The near stranger gave a small nod of the head. Blaine chewed the inside of his cheek and hit the resigned switch in his brain.

“I…yeah. Yeah, you roped me in. but I want a loophole.” the crowd cheered again, the people around him pulled him into hug after hug but his eyes stayed fixed on Kurt’s, who’s smile spoke so many words to Blaine, but nothing more than a sincere  _thank you._

Hours later, showered fed and warm, Blaine lay sleepless in his cot. The room was fairly bare, just a bed and a desk. The door kept out the noise and the darkness was complete but his skin felt corrupted. No matter how much he tossed and turned he couldn’t shut off his brain to sleep. He rolled to his feet and pulled on some clothes. The corridor was empty as he stepped out into it, quiet and dark. He followed the sound of work; eventually emerging out onto one of the many balconies surrounding the hall. He followed it around, smiling at anyone who came along. He’d get a pat on the back or a reverent smile as they went by, and it had only been a day, but it was starting to get to him.

After he was recruited, after he and Sebastian drifted for the first time, he learned what silence really was. He could feel it, like a hum through his joints. Silence was noise, so loud and profound he could hardly take it, but it was calming. There was no variation, no stutter, it just was. And he just held it there in his mind and let his body do the rest.

He found a jutting platform and stepped out onto it, turning to look upwards. He spied a body, legs curled up into its chest, watching over the humans working like ants below. Blaine looked around until he found a stairway and climbed to join him.

His hair was flat across his head, sweeping off to one side. He hadn’t noticed before, but his hair was coloured just like Blaine’s. The light reflected off dark stripes of blue in the brown. If he hadn’t looked, he wouldn’t have seen. He looked a lot less official than usual, stripped down to standard issue tank top and khakis. Even from the back Blaine could tell he would pull off any look successfully. But that wasn’t what caught his attention. Normally, Kurt wore a full shirt. It covered his neck, back and arms completely. But wearing something a little skimpier, revealed a whole new side to him.

It started off below the neckline of the shirt, along his spine, and spread out across his shoulder blades and over onto the top of his arms. There was no colour, almost no fill in, just well-rehearsed lines swooping here and there. They were wings that rippled across his skin as he shuffled around to look at him.

“You going to stand there all night or come and join me?”

Blaine shook himself and slid down to sit next to Kurt, sticking his legs out over the edge and clasping his hands in his lap

“That makes mine look so immature” he commented, holding out his arms to examine the colourful design covering the tops of his arms. Kurt chuckled

“I bet yours weren’t as painful.”

“No, no probably not.”

“I do have a question though” Kurt said, crossing his legs “why do they cut off before your forearms? Odd question I know, I’m just curious.”

Blaine sucked his lips into his mouth “When I joined the Jaeger program, as you may know, I was subject to a hell of a lot of blood tests and drugs and a whole load of crap. When I got these I was still with the program. I’ve seen the train wrecks your skin becomes if it’s tattooed and then constantly jabbed into with needles so I got the artist to taper them off nicely.”

“It’s nice” Kurt nodded before lapsing into silence. “I couldn’t sleep first night I was here either” he said after a few minutes. “I don’t know if it’s the quiet after living in a big city or just the beds but it was too still.”

Blaine nodded. He looked down at the people working around the gigantic robots, seeing them for the first time for what they were. Machines built to kill things. When he was younger, when he was chosen, they were just a transit to glory and fame and acceptance. “Do you really want to be out there?” he murmured. Kurt shrugged one shoulder

“Yeah. Why?”

“I don’t know. Having been out there I can see the appeal, but I also wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Because of what happened with Sebastian?” Kurt cut in “you know that’s a one in a million right? Nothing like that had happened before and nothing has since.”

“Not just because of that. Having someone in your head lets loose things you don’t want uncovered. I mean…having someone knowing your every fear, your every moment of weakness or doubt. It’s heavy stuff.”

“But someone also gets to share in all of your joy and delights. All those moments you never got to share with anyone before like…” he paused to think for a moment “ooh like the smell of your favourite day of the year or how you felt after your first kiss. It’s intimacy that would have been singular for the rest of your life.”

“You know that’s not always a good thing” Blaine pointed out, resting his arms on the bar in front of him “having someone know everything is a sure way to lay yourself bare and…vulnerable.”

Kurt played with his fingers, looking down into his lap. After a few seconds he cocked his head to look sideways at Blaine “what happened between you and Sebastian? There were rumours, but we never had solid fact. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” he rushed to add “I was just curious.”

“You’re curious about a lot of things aren’t you?” Blaine observed

“What can I say, it’s in my nature. But seriously, if you don’t want to-”

“I don’t mind,” Blaine assured him “you’re the first person to know though. A lot of people guessed of course, and it was always out that we were both…gay, and had a rough history with that fact. Nobody thought it was true though, mainly because I led everyone to believe I was off the market. And Seb was always so brash and teasing when it came to things like that in the press you know? It was always easy to brush it off as a joke” Kurt nodded “but one day, after mess, we both went for a run. It had been a rough day of simulations and it was stifling so we went to get some fresh air. We got out to our favourite coffee shop and picked up our usuals and he sat there and told me he couldn’t hold it back any longer, that being in my head was driving him crazy.” Blaine sighed, “and then, when we got back to our room, he tried to kiss me.”

Kurt’s eyes widened “yeah it was horrible and embarrassing but most of all it hurt, because I’d told him so many times it couldn’t happen, that it would throw us off our game. After that, I think he resented me, and we were thrown so off balance. We couldn’t drift successfully anymore and the last time we did I ended up near death and that’s when I got out.” he finished with a shrug “and now I’m back”

“So the rumours were partly true. Most people thought you  _had_  kissed”

Blaine shook his head “I never liked him that way. We had a history of mutual support and that helped us drift but it was just a matter of time before he tried it on. So I’ve been out of the game ever since.”

“You’ve had quite the young adult life, then” Kurt chuckled.

“So have you from the sound of it” Blaine arched an eyebrow “I looked up your file. I didn’t know someone so young could be qualified with so many languages, and then there’s the math and the science and the martial arts.”

“Okay a lot of that sounds a lot better than it is. The only thing I do extremely well in is the fighting. I’ve gathered qualifications, but they’re nothing bigger than half a degree. It just looks insane because of the volume. I’m really no smarter than your average neuroscientist.”

Blaine met his eyes, seeing right through the sarcasm. Kurt burst into laughter “okay maybe not that smart. I’m just determined I guess. And I had a lot going on in high school”

“Tell me about it.”

“That’s where the tattoo came from actually. I grew up in Ohio and  _god_ did I want to get out of there.”

“Wings” Blaine breathed, earning a happy nod

“Mhmm.”

“Well I really do feel insecure about these now” he rubbed his arms self-consciously, but Kurt shook his head, reaching out to trace the pattern

“I think they’re gorgeous, and the artist did a really good job on them”

“I uhm yeah I didn’t have m-much input on the design or anything I just asked him to uhm, make it spacey, and abstract, but bright” he swallowed, slightly distracted by Kurt’s fingers searching his skin.

“It works” Kurt smiled, turning his arms to see the rest of the design “and it’s very  _you_ , I mean, I know you’ve made out so far that you’re all dark and gritty but I think you’re much more hopeful than that. I think you could be bright if you wanted to be.”

Blaine watched him carefully, until Kurt broke the moment and jumped to his feet “but we better be getting some form of sleep if you’re going to be sorting through your drift candidates tomorrow.”

“You’ll be there?” Blaine asked, maybe a little too enthusiastically, staying in his place on the floor. For some reason, the prospect of having Kurt there for support made it a little easier to deal with. Maybe it was some odd way of keeping himself attached to the outside world. Kurt had brought him here after all, even if it wasn’t in the most polite manner.

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it.” He held out a hand to help Blaine up. He took it gratefully, stepping up into Kurt’s personal space. He paused, feeling the ghost of Kurt’s exhale across his face. He stuttered in a breath, locking onto those pretty and disarming eyes.

Kurt dropped his hand.

“See you tomorrow. Try and sleep.” Kurt smiled, almost sadly and moved towards the steps.

“Wait, Kurt” Blaine blurted, not entirely sure what he was going to say “I…thank you, for that just now. I think I needed it.”

“No problem” he breathed and started down the steps.

Blaine turned back to the railing and looked out over the vast hall. It was still noisy, still full of activity but Blaine felt still, he felt comfortable. He wiped a hand across his face to get rid of the smile.

Kurt Hummel was…something.

* * *

 

Take your average spar, increase its difficulty by ten, and then times that by a hundred and you had Blaine’s morning lay out before him. One would think having been drugged and dragged here against his will; they’d at least give him chance to get his bearings. But this was war.

He hadn’t even seen his Jaeger yet.

With twelve opponents down and not so much as a flicker of a connection Blaine ordered a break. He slid down the wall at the side of the mat and contemplated what exactly was holding him back from searching out with these guys. They were well trained, skilled, most lacked any sort of personality in their technique, but there was a good dialogue going between them. It was just, none of them felt right.

“You’re late.” he struggled while catching his breath. Kurt stepped into the room, hair peaked and perfect, eyebrow arched. Blaine smiled.

“Well I’m here now.” He replied, taking a seat down next to him “how’s it going?”

“Good wouldn’t be the right word” Blaine explained

“If you want my opinion, they’ve rushed you into this” Blaine’s brow furrowed “You didn’t want to be here, and they’re shoving you straight into this? Finding a drift companion isn’t easy stuff, especially if you’re reluctant”

Blaine chewed the inside of his cheek and watched as the rest of the candidates filed out for his requested break. “It’s not that I’m reluctant” he stated “it’s just none of them felt right. I shouldn’t feel so tense you know?”

Kurt nodded thoughtfully “would you have a go with me?” he asked, looking over at the mat. Blaine arched an eyebrow

“You serious?” he deadpanned

“Yeah” Kurt said, climbing to his feet “see if we can get you to relax a bit. See if you can get me on my back, Anderson” he raised his eyebrows in a challenge, picking up a bo staff as he did. Blaine muffled the snort at the innuendo and stood up.

“I don’t want to crush you. You need that head of yours to do your job.” He was reluctant picking up his own weapon.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, you haven’t seen what I can do,” he swept the staff through the air until it whistled, holding it poised behind him as Blaine took his place.

He swallowed nervously.

They both started out timid, taking small steps, circling the mat. Neither wanted to strike first, but one of them would have to, if they were going to get anywhere in the ten minutes they had left.

Kurt took the initiative, lurching forward to start the spar off properly. Blaine struggled a little keeping his balance as Kurt jabbed this way and that. He made a rookie mistake though, adding too many embellishments. Blaine got him at the back of the knees and sent him sprawling.

“Show off” he breathed. Kurt glared in his direction and got back to his feet. The first few candidates re-entered the room, surprised at the show but more than content to watch. Kurt was more careful this time, only striking when necessary. He had Blaine on his chest before he even knew what was happening.

“ _Show off”_  he repeated sarcastically. Blaine shook it off and got to his feet. The room was slowly filling up, lining the walls with excited onlookers. Blaine felt his skin perking up with sweat and a touch of nerves. There was definitely something going on here, something different to what he’d been feeling all morning. He wiped the sweat from his forehead.

They started again, feinting and dancing to the snap of staff against staff. It faded into music, into a rhythm of front steps and back steps and dodging harmoniously. For the first time Blaine actually felt like he was fighting  _with_  someone, not against them. He smiled.

Then fell flat on his back.

“Don’t get distracted now, Anderson” Kurt laughed, breathy. He seemed just as into it as Blaine.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” there was no pause after that. They fought and fought, until Blaine almost decapitated Kurt and they called it three-three.

Then the Marshall stepped into the room. He nodded for them to continue, folding his arms.

That’s when it got complex. Neither of them wanted to fall to the other, so some kind of unspoken pact fell between them. They started aiming for the each other’s staffs instead of each other’s heads. It became more like a dance than a fight, spinning and ducking. Blaine grinned as the routine continued, gasping in air when he could and letting it out with each swing and dive. He chanced a glance at the Marshall and misstepped. Kurt flipped him bodily and pinned him to the ground, breathing heavily above him.

Their gazes locked, Kurt grinned. Blaine felt exhilarated

“I-”

“Yeah”

“Gentlemen.” The Marshall called, a little too loudly. Kurt let go of Blaine and stood up, bowing slowly as soon as they were both upright. They both turned to their boss. “Impressive fighting going on there. Too bad Mr Hummel here is on the ropes.” Kurt stepped forward

“Sir, you didn’t see the start of that fight. You can’t let me-”

“No, Mr Hummel. Bad timing. Mr Anderson, I’d like you to keep on with the rest of the candidates if you please. Mr Hummel will return to his station and stay there.” He directed sternly in Kurt’s direction. He looked shattered. Like how Blaine felt.

“Sir please, I haven’t fought with anyone so far the way we just did. We’re the perfect match.”

The Marshall arched his eyebrow and shrugged “I’m sorry Mr Anderson. My decision is final” he turned and stepped from the room, gesturing for the next candidate to step onto the mat. Kurt looked at the ground, shaking his head slightly. He passed over the staff to the girl who had just stepped up and walked stiffly from the room, head downturned. Blaine watched after him, feeling his heart squeeze painfully. He twirled the staff in his hand, trying to clear his head as he moved in for the fight.

He woke up later, head banging, to a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Here he comes” a familiar voice said, the sound coming metallic through his ears “easy boy.”

“Twice in two days” he muttered, opening is eyes “bit of a record I’m making here huh.”

Kim laughed, helping him to sit up. Blaine raised a hand to his cheek to feel that the tightness across his face was due to the dressing plastered across his cheek.

“Those staffs are more solid than they look.” he muttered.

“You must have been all kinds of distracted today” she laughed again, flashing a light in front of his eyes. He grimaced

“You could say that” he mumbled, just as the door swung inwards and a welcome face popped into view.

“God you’re awake, are you okay? What happened?” Kurt moved into the room and took a seat next to him on the bed

Blaine motioned to the dressing “My face and a bo staff don’t mix it seems”

“Jesus.” Kurt exhaled, looking to Kim “is his head okay?”

“I’m right here,” Blaine said. Kurt tapped his arm to get him to shut up. Kim nodded

“We thought you’d be a little concussed but you’re responding well so it must have just caught an awkward nerve. You just need to take it easy for the rest of the day.”

Blaine groaned “what happened with the rest of the candidates? Does the Marshall know what happened?”

Kurt kissed his teeth and looked meaningfully up at Kim. She nodded, looking a little disgruntled, and stepped from the room. Kurt turned Blaine’s chin with his fingers to get a better look at his face “that looks painful.”

Blaine shrugged “V'had worse, trust me”

Kurt rolled his eyes “you’re exasperating.” Blaine quirked an eyebrow.

“How so?” he teased. Kurt bumped his shoulder and looked down at his hands.

“I went to talk with the Marshall just now; he told me you were here. I don’t know if we’ll get through to him, but you definitely felt that right?” he remarked hopefully, matching his worried expression. “It wasn’t just me?”

Blaine nodded and then let out a small chuckle “It’s weird. I never felt it that strong with Sebastian. We were just good buddies, you’re-” he cut himself sort, swallowing the words. Kurt’s head snapped up

“I’m what?” he demanded

“Nothing, it was just different. Good different.” He pushed himself to his feet, shaking off the small wave of dizziness and stretching his arms up over his head “maybe I should go talk to him.”

“You think you’ll have any more influence than I do?” Kurt asked seriously, staying seated. Blaine rand a hand through his hair

“Let’s put it this way: if he says no, I’m out. I asked for a loophole, and I’ve found it. If he wants me in this, which he does, then you’re in it with me. Go get fitted for your uniform, cadet.” He smiled back at Kurt and left the room, finding his way to the top floor of the building he was slowly growing to like.

The door was ajar, so he didn’t bother knocking. The Marshall was stood with a tea cup and saucer in hand, overlooking a file on his desk.

“Mr Anderson” he said quietly, not looking up “how’s the head.”

“Fine” he replied, not able to keep the annoyance from his voice “why won’t you let Kurt drift with me? I know you didn’t see the whole fight but  _we_ know exactly what we felt. He’s the best match you have here.”

“For one, you don’t quite seem up to it at this moment in time” he gestured to Blaine’s face, putting his tea cup down. Blaine reached up and tore the dressing from his cheek in protest. He held in the grunt as his eye watered from the sting.

“I’m fine. I’m ready, and so is Kurt.”

“I said my decision is final, Blaine-”

“Then I’m out” he stated, holding up his hands “simple as that. Let Kurt drift with me and I’ll stay. Otherwise I’ll get the next bus out of this place and you’ll never see me again.”

The Marshall looked him up and down, grimacing "why him?”

Blaine squinted “why him? Did you not hear what I just said?”

“I heard what you said” he assured, leaning against his desk. Blaine blinked in confusion

“Then what-”

“Why him” the Marshall repeated.

Blaine swallowed, opening his mouth and then closing it again. Why was he being so difficult? The guy used to be a Jaeger pilot; he knew what it was to feel a match with someone. You couldn’t put it into words, it just  _was_ , and that was that. He was asking the impossible. “But I can’t, I mean, you don’t just…he’s just perfect. I could feel it, he could feel it.  _I didn’t feel that with Sebastian, Marshall_ ” he finished, waving a hand behind him. “You know how well we drifted before…well this match is stronger, ten times stronger. He's…” he trailed off, running out of words. He clasped his hands behind his head and shrugged in resignation. The Marshall was watching him carefully. He pushed himself off the desk and folded his arms.

“Alright” he finally said. Blaine’s eyes widened “but” he started, cutting Blaine off before he could speak “if this does not go right first time, then I’m not giving you another shot. You want to leave after that, fine. One shot, that’s all you get Anderson.”

Blaine had to stop himself laughing out loud, practically bouncing “thank…thank you sir, you won't…okay” he stamped a salute and practically flew from the room and down the hall. He turned a corner and skidded to a stop.

History began to repeat itself.

He stopped in his tracks, watching the ghost of people jogging past him. He knew this corridor, and he knew what used to be at the end of it. His heart began to hammer.  _Sebastian turned back, gesturing madly for him to follow him._ He swallowed, stepping forward slowly. The corridor opened at the end, out onto another metal framed balcony and the structure suspended in front of him was so familiar it could have been the back of his hand.

Blaine stepped a little closer, leaning out over the railing to look up at its gigantic form, grazed and battered but looking much healthier than it had the last time he’d seen it. He felt the ghost of a pat on his back,  _watched a smiling Sebastian step up onto the bottom rail and grin happily up at it. Then the alarm sounded, his grin grew, he was rolling away,_  Blaine was following him.  _Up the spiral steps, into uniform, clipping into helmets, bumping shoulders as they stepped up to the edge…_

“BLAINE!” someone screamed. He shuddered back a step, glancing left and right for a railing to grab. He held tight, breathing heavily. His face was wet. “STAY THERE!” the voice called again. He squeezed his eyes shut, making everything black and lifeless, floating away.

The ghost of Sebastian dissolved into nothing.

They snapped open to a hand on his arm. Kurt was crouched in front of him, eyes scared and confused. Blaine tried to speak but his throat caught the words in its web before they could escape. Kurt nodded and pulled Blaine’s head into his chest, prying his hand loose from the railing behind him. He held him close, slowed his breath, and stilled the shake in his body.

When Blaine pulled back, he was looking at a large damp patch on the front of Kurt’s shirt.

“S'just…” he said, gesturing up at the machine. Kurt nodded

“I get it, it’s fine. Expected actually” he huffed an almost laugh. “You’re fine”

“What’s it…what’s it doing here?” he stuttered, looking back up at it

“They want to put it back into use. It was gorgeous when it was running, and they’ve made it even prettier. Needs a new name though.”

“Does it.” he whispered.

He was shivering. Blaine watched wordlessly as Kurt unbuttoned his shirt, wrapping it around Blaine’s shoulders instead and helping him to his feet. “d-don’t tell…” he managed as they made their way down the stairs. He stopped them at the bottom, wiping at his face frantically “you can’t tell anyone.”

Kurt shook his head, taking the shirt back from Blaine. “He said yes, you can’t let him know this just happened.” Kurt nodded his understanding

“So we're…going to drift?” he asked hopefully. Blaine nodded

“We’re going to drift.”

Blaine wished he felt as hopeful as Kurt’s smile seemed to suggest he was.  _Keep it together Blaine, one more day._

Stepping back into uniform again was both an exhilarating and horrifying experience. Half of him was panicked that he’d freak out like he had the day before, and half of him couldn’t be faster getting into it. Adjustments were made, new items were fitted, and Blaine was back in his room by midday, wracked with nerves and dreading the thing with every inch of himself.

Not as terrified as Kurt looked however, sat alone at mess, eating nothing. Blaine slid in next to him, ignoring the looks from the people around him. He didn’t know what everyone’s issue was, but he was Blaine and nothing anybody did was going to change the way he acted or the way he felt.

“You okay?” he asked, a little stupidly. Kurt shook his head a fraction either way “nervous? Me too” he dolloped a spoon of potato onto each of their plates, picked up a fork and physically put it into Kurt’s hand “eat. I understand the nerves but it’s my health on the line as well as yours today.”

“Please don’t remind me of that” he half squeaked, voice even higher than usual

“You’ll be fine, it’s only a trial. No real danger. You just have to stay in control, keep yourself light and loose” he jiggled his shoulders in an effort to cheer the other boy up. Kurt watched for a second before snorting into his shoulder. “I mean it though” Blaine added, a little more seriously “don’t try and hold onto anything. Just…let your body do everything. You try too hard, you go too deep, you don’t come back.  _Don’t follow the rabbit.”_

They ate in silence for the rest of their time together, until personnel wandered over to collect them. Blaine tapped him on the back and followed them along. They parted, and met again in front of a set of doors he knew all too well.

“Cobalt Steel; calibrating” he heard someone speak into a microphone. His head snapped in their direction.

“Hey” he called “we can’t call it that” they looked around in confusion.

“Uhm…”

“You ready boys?” Blaine switched his focus back to the front. He was being handed a helmet. The worker he’d been talking to had moved off. He swallowed.

They stepped up to their plates almost simultaneously, being jolted this way and that as they were harnessed in, the buzz of the electronics rushing upwards from their feet.

“Cobalt Steel, closing off. It’s up to you now guys” Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, muscles far too tense for what he was about to do.

“You okay?” came Kurt’s nervous voice, crackling through his helmet. Blaine nodded.

“Fine. Let’s do this.”

“Alright you two.” Came the Marshall’s voice “you remember what I said, you’ve got one shot. You mess this up, you’re out.”

“Got you loud and clear Marshall” Kurt assured him, looking over at Blaine, concern written plain on his face. “You ready?”

“More than” Blaine breathed, rolling his shoulders. He felt claustrophobic, panicked. It didn’t feel  _right_. For a split second he doubted the pairing and was in half a mind to call it all off. But then they were moving, knees bending at the impact of headpiece into the rest of the machine. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear orders being spoken sternly into his helmet, procedures being initiated.

“Blaine” Kurt cut in “you sure you’re ready?”

“Prepared for neural handshake” he said clearly, shaking the tension from his body. Only it stuck, and he couldn’t relax.

“Initiating neural handshake.”

He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the experience, knowing full well it could bounce back in the state he was in.

But then he was falling.

It felt like a rush of knowledge, flashes of memory and ingrained emotion all coursing through his mind at once. He watched his own, blazed through the familiar, until he broke through to Kurt.

There was a little boy, sat against a chest of drawers, holding an old perfume bottle to his chest. There were tears on his face. Then it was an older child, enthusiastically jabbering on about a show he and his father - a balding man wearing a baseball cap - had just exited. Then a teenager, being jostled through high school halls, he felt the pain as the boy was shoved up against locker after locker. A man running, smoke and dust filling his nostrils, clothes torn, heart racing in his chest. The roar of the unknown sounding from behind him. He kept running.

Blaine came back to reality with a breath larger than he felt he’d ever taken. He looked over at Kurt who was looking off into the distance, chest falling and rising rapidly. Distracted.

“Kurt, Kurt, you okay?”

“Yeah” he croaked “that was something.”

“The bond’s looking strong, guys, you’re doing well. Kurt, could you just focus a little harder” Blaine turned his head to watch him carefully. He still seemed out of breath, body too rigid for his liking. His eyes narrowed.

“Kurt? Kurt can you hear me?” His partner didn’t reply.  _Shit._  He almost reached out but knew the circumstances of doing that would leave them in a much worse place than they were currently. Something was pulling at his mind, taking his breath. His hands felt clammy and his movements felt laboured.  _This has happened before…_ “Kurt listen to me. Remember how you’ve been trained for this, remember what I told you” Kurt’s head turned slowly towards him. He looked horrified.

“S'lot” he croaked

“I know; I know it’s a lot. You just have to focus, here, grip your hands like this.” He squeezed his fingers into fists at his side, a little difficult considering his current state but Kurt seemed to comply. Blaine felt his heart rate decreasing, along with his own. Kurt began to relax. “Okay? Now focus on me, what I do, okay?”

Kurt took a deep breath and nodded “everything okay down there Gentlemen?” the Marshall asked, concern lacing his voice

“Fine” Kurt said “fine. Just took me a second to get used to it.” he turned to Blaine and smiled, looking like an excited five year old who’d been thrown too fast into the deep end, just to surface successfully, as if he’d never thought he’d manage it. Blaine sighed in relief. If Kurt was on board, he could keep himself in check.

They ran through the basic first drift procedures, which basically consisted of both Kurt and Blaine moving in different ways until they had every snap and jerk down and were moving perfectly as one.

When they stepped out of the mechanism, they were welcomed by a bunch of hopeful personnel congratulating them. But Kurt disappeared.

He would like to have gone straight past every human in the vicinity to find him but then he was being shuffled up to control for a debrief.

“Where’s Kurt?” was the first thing out of his mouth once he was inside the Marshall’s office.

“I let him go and take a few minutes of time to himself. First drifts are tough, you know that."  _Yeah I do_ "but I’ll explain to you something I don’t want to mention to him.” the Marshall gestured to the seat opposite his desk. Blaine walked over and took a seat.

“Is it about how I was feeling before we drifted because I swear that was just the anxiety of stepping back into that thing” he said quickly “it won’t happen again.”

“In part” the Marshall agreed “but it’s more about what was happening just after the neural handshake” he looked sternly over the desk at him. Blaine licked his lips. “You felt it I presume? You two were soaring for a second there, the connection wavered, but in the other direction. You sure there isn’t something going on I should be concerned about?”

Blaine opened his mouth and shut it again “I don’t know what… I mean no, I know where that leads. If that’s what you’re insinuating.”

“Me? I insinuate nothing; I just want to know that history isn’t going to repeat itself. You understand me?”

Blaine scratched the back of neck, feeling the hair prickle with nerves. Nothing  _was_ happening…was it?

“N-no, no, nothing is happening. Nothing will happen. I’d never let that happen again.” He rushed.

The Marshall studied him for a second and then gestured to the door “good. You can go. I want you up early tomorrow Mr Anderson; you’re dropping with the next lot.”

Blaine gaped at him for a second and then followed his order, not wanting to overstep his luck. When the door slammed shut behind him he paused for a second to internalise the excitement bouncing through his veins.  _I have to find Kurt._

Blaine traced his way to their rooms, only getting lost once, finding himself in front of the door within ten minutes. He stopped outside, stilling his expression, listened for any sound of a guest and then knocked hard on the door three times. When nobody answered he knocked again, frowning “Kurt? You in there? It’s Blaine.”

After a few seconds the door opened a fraction and Blaine pushed it to step in. Kurt was sat on the edge of his bed, his leg jiggling nervously. He didn’t look up as Blaine shuffled into the room.

“Hey” he spoke quietly, readjusting himself to the silence that came with the room. “You disappeared on me there” Kurt stayed quiet. He looked around and then pointed over to a few pictures he had pinned up on a mirror on his wall next to the locker he must use as a wardrobe. “This your family?” he asked, looking closer. The picture showed four people, a younger Kurt and his father who Blaine recognised easily, a woman with her arm wrapped around his father affectionately. Then there was a boy Blaine didn’t recognise. He was tall, too tall, smiling brightly. He didn’t remember him from Kurt’s memories. He frowned.

“Me, my dad and step mom Carole, my brother Finn.” Kurt said, from right behind him. Blaine turned; surprised to see him stood a foot back. He smiled, looking tiredly across at the picture “that’s the last picture I have of all four of us” he shrugged and took his seat back on the edge of his bed, bent over his hands. Blaine took a seat next to him

“What happened?” he asked warily.

“I erm…well my mom died when I was eight and then my dad remarried when I was seventeen. Finn is her son, we were school friends, I even had this stupid crush on him” he laughed quietly “I moved to New York after high school, Finn went off to join the army.” Kurt scratched the corner of his eye before continuing “He erm, passed away about a year later, it doesn’t matter how, but that’s how I ended up in San Francisco, why I was there when the first Kaijus attacked” he shook his head “I’d been taught a method, when the organisation looked me up and found out a bit about my history, to screen some of the memories I wouldn’t want to relive during a drift. Not hide them completely, but keep them foggy. That’s probably why you didn’t see them.”

“But you  _did_?”

“A little bit” Kurt sniffed “but it wasn’t too bad. I could do it again.”

“Is that why you tensed up on me there?” he asked, nudging his shoulder “because if it is, I can totally forgive you. Scared me for a second”

At the mention of that, Kurt stiffened. He stood up and moved to the mini fridge he had sat in the corner, pulling an open can of diet coke out and taking a sip. He offered it up to Blaine, who shook his head. He put it back. “What did the Marshall say in the debriefing?” he asked, changing the subject. Blaine shifted uncomfortably

“Nothing much, just that it was a successful first go and that we’ll be dropping in the next shift.”

Kurt’s eyes widened “We’ll be…what, are you serious?” he covered his face, mumbling incoherently into his hands. Blaine’s eyes narrowed.  _Something is very wrong._

“I thought you’d be…happy?” he was beginning to feel a little unsettled. There was a strange atmosphere in the room, the air was too heavy and that thread between them was pulling awkwardly. “Kurt is there something you’re not telling me? Maybe I can help.”

He hadn’t moved his hands. When he did drop them Blaine saw that he was smiling.  _Something is very, very wrong_. “Kurt if you’re not telling me something you know it could seriously affect how we drift.”

“Yeah it will.” Kurt exclaimed, sounding a little hysterical. “Yeah, yeah it definitely will.”

“What…”

“You know that erm, just after I started wavering and your chest felt all tight? I mean you're  _Blaine Anderson_ , drifting should be like breathing to you. But you struggled right?”

“Yeah but that was…the Jaeger, and the name.”

“Cobalt Steel? No, no it wasn’t” he nodded, looking a little maniacal. Then he began to pace. Blaine was growing increasingly more panicked.

“What do you – Kurt you’re not making sense.”

“No I’m making perfect sense; you just don’t want to hear it.”

Blaine stood up and moved towards the door “I’m going to go lie down” he muttered “maybe you should do the same” Kurt grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the room. Then he stepped in front of the door.

“No. You’re going to admit it, or we’ll be more than screwed when we drop.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he said, tacking on a laugh for good measure “you’re tired, I’m tired. We just need to get our strength again and then-”

“Oh wow, wow that’s awesome, that's  _totally awesome”_  Kurt interrupted loudly, turning away and running a hand through his streaked hair. Blaine’s eyes lingered on the colour, trying not to let his mind get away with him. He could just… “Screw you!” Kurt turned back, face red and angry “I-I came here because I thought I could run away from all that shit back at home you know?” An-and then I get here and it’s all good for a while and then  _you_  turn up, and suddenly everything I’ve ever wanted is coming true-“

” _Kurt_ “ Blaine pleaded "please don’t”

“Don’t you fucking say that _. Don’t._  Because if I walk out now you’re screwed too. You’re going to listen to me. You’re going to listen because…yesterday I was just this kid from Ohio and then you came along with your spacey tattoos and talked to me like nobody has ever talked to me before-”

“Stop” Blaine said sternly “stop. Do  _not_  do this. If you do this, you know there’s no going back.”

“What am I supposed to do huh?” Blaine could see the anger on his face slowly dissolving into helplessness. “We pulled it back this time, what about next time?”

He wiped at his face. Blaine swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. “I know it’s so dumb, it’s so stupid, it’s so dangerous.” He crumpled onto the bed, putting his head into his hands “god what am I doing.” He mumbled. Blaine didn’t move. Eventually he sat up again, looking ten times more wrecked than he had before. “I’m sorry” he said quietly “I’m sorry. This was a bad idea. I’ll just…I’ll go and they’ll rotate in another group of cadets.” He began moving around the room, picking up bits and bobs before throwing them onto the bed. Blaine watched on silently, frozen between decisions. “If I’m quiet there won’t be too much chat, I’ll just say I had family stuff, or that I…” he trailed off, straightening up. ”Please say something."

Blaine opened his mouth and closed it again. He blinked a few times. “C'mere” he breathed. Kurt placed a coat down on the bed and moved over cautiously. Blaine reached out a hand and touched his chin, following the line of Kurt’s jaw, slotting his hand onto the side of his face. He felt Kurt shiver into the heat of his palm. Slowly, without thinking, while thinking too much, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Kurt didn’t react; he remained still, until Blaine pulled back.

He met Kurt’s eyes, looked for some kind of affirmation or a sign that he’d read this completely wrong. But Kurt just sort of…smiled weakly and let out a sound that came out like a wordless attempt of  _at last_. But he didn’t have to say it, because he could feel it, and it wasn’t anything like it had been with Sebastian. Instead of cringing away he wanted to step closer, to wrap himself up in Kurt.

Instead he just stood there, slightly breathless until he felt Kurt pushing at is chest and he stumbled back into the wall behind him. There was no more talking them, just Kurt kissing him. The fear of what this would do to them was gone far from his mind and he took that as a good sign. He kissed back, struggling to keep adequate breath in his lungs until he felt he had more of Kurt’s oxygen than his own circling his arteries. They kissed until their lips were numb and Blaine’s back was starting ache with being held so powerfully against the wall, but he just didn’t want to stop, he never wanted to stop. But then Kurt was pulling away, stepping back with a hand on his forehead “wait, what are we doing? I err - god what are we doing?”

Blaine whined and stepped forward again, grabbing him by the waist to pull him in again. Kurt struggled against him, yanking himself out of Blaine’s grasp. “Blaine, stop.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Kurt,” he groaned “what are you trying to do huh? I mean you come on with all this fucking…connection shit and then we do, well _, that_ , and now you get cold feet? Christ” He turned for the door and pulled it open, rushing out into the corridor. He heard Kurt behind him.

“Blaine! _Blaine_!” he caught up quickly, matching Blaine’s swift pace. “are you kidding me?  _You_  kissed  _me_!”

“Shh” he sounded, looking around them to make sure the corridor was clear. Then he stopped and turned to his partner “because I thought you were up for this! You think I would have just dived in like that If I hadn’t felt  _exactly_  how you were describing?” he explained roughly “you think I’d risk it all just because you have pretty eyes?” he shook his head and returned to his path, only hearing Kurt at his heels again when he was around another corner and approaching his destination

“Blaine, stop! I panicked okay. It’s not just your neck on the line-”

Blaine laughed, loudly, and carried on walking until he emerged onto the balcony he’d been found on the day before. Kurt stopped next to him.

“Why did you come here?” Kurt asked, surprise taking the anger from his voice. Blaine sidestepped past him and up the switchback stair that led them above the structure, away from prying eyes. Kurt followed. When they were both above the noise and the activity Blaine turned to explain.

“Today, I stepped into this Jaeger thinking that it was going to flop, I didn’t think I was ready. Then this…thing happened, and I thought this is it” he threw his hands up in the air “I’m never going to pilot again. Then after, the Marshall comes to me and says that the thing that happened could screw everything up. And then, you come out with all this stuff about this-this connection or whatever and I’m stuck, Kurt. I don’t know what to do. You wanna tell me what to do?” he was breathing heavily, hair flopping brightly in front of his eyes. For the first time Kurt seemed stumped. He wrapped his arms around his torso and peeked out over the railing at the Jaeger below. It was sat silent and menacing, a pillar of certainty, while above thoughts and emotions swayed wildly.

“We could rename it,” Kurt said quietly “if that would help you. We could give it a different name.”

Blaine gaped at him until he looked over and smiled softly, the same smile he’d given Blaine when he’d understood the wings across his back. “Something softer, I don’t know, that suits us.”

“Yeah” Blaine replied, feeling the frustration seep from his body at the simple suggestion. “But dangerous too.” He thought for a second, looking over the railing with Kurt. After a second, an idea came to him “ _Tyger”_  he whispered, and then again a little louder “Tyger, like the poem.”

_“Tyger Tyger burning bright, in the forest of the night”_  Kurt recited

“Tyger Bright” Blaine muttered under his breath. “Lethal-”

“But hopeful” Kurt finished. “Just like us.”

Blaine shifted his body until he and Kurt were face to face again “I like it” he murmured, feeling Kurt’s breath ghost across his skin. He could smell the oil on him; almost feel the memory of the movements they had practiced before. This time it was Kurt who pressed forward with his lips, roping his arms around Blaine’s shoulders.

And Blaine’s gave in; he let Kurt guide them along, stopping at corners to kiss again when the corridor was cold and empty, filling it with their warmth.

They staggered into Blaine’s room, losing clothes as quickly as inhibitions. Kurt’s soft fingers marked Blaine’s skin just like his lips, leaving imprints that paired with the soft moans and whimpers filling the room. His mind was racing, until that moment of stillness as the room darkened around them, choked out salutations of fascination and contentment. They moved slowly together, relishing the feeling of soft skin and calloused fingertips, exchanging breath and rolling as one. Breath hitched as names rolled serenely over pillowcases and rough woollen blankets, a spark of light in the dark room.

They lay together after, breathing in each other’s scent, feeling safe. It was a while before either of them was able to speak.

“Mmmm you know you said before,” Blaine hummed “about me speaking to you differently, what did you mean?”

“You’re killing the mood” Kurt grunted in reply. Blaine pushed himself up, settling his chin over Kurt’s chest, letting his fingers tangle in his hair and scratch at the back of his head. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your hair? It’s like sea foam.”

“Don’t change the subject” he whined, poking him in the ribs “C'mon, I’m curious”

“Oh you’re the curious one now are you” he rolled his eyes and lifted his arm up behind his head. He exhaled. “Okay well, you probably saw that my high school career wasn’t insanely enjoyable. When I got out and moved to New York, things changed. You know you do that thing where you go from being at the top of the school to the bottom?” Blaine nodded as best he could; tracing circles into Kurt’s skin “it was easy to feel superior back in Ohio, like I was moving onto something better than anyone else. And then I got to New York, full of people like me and I got kinda lost. I had friends there, Rachel - who was Finn’s ex – but she got her break and I was still sitting low. After Finn…died, I just wanted to shake things up so I moved to San Francisco. Then my life became all kind of crazy.”

“I don’t think that answered my question” Blaine deadpanned. Kurt quirked an eyebrow

“Alright smartass. When we talked, it was like talking to someone on my level. I know that sounds uptight as hell-”

“No, I getcha, I mean it’s hard to find someone who makes you feel a little less mediocre. Hell I’m still trying.”

“I’m not” Kurt said quietly, not meeting his eyes “or at least I hope not”

Blaine smiled, narrowing his eyes.

“Really?” he asked

“Uh, yeah” Kurt stated, falling back into that take-no-shit tone of voice “I mean have you ever spoken to the Marshall? That guy is insanely on my level.”

Blaine’s face dropped into a smirk and he sat up in protest, throwing the sheet off himself and picking up his boxers. Kurt made grabby hands after him “Come back” he whined, dragging out the vowel.

“I’ll just let you and your new buddy have some time alone shall I” Blaine teased, sticking his nose in the air. “Clearly I’m not good enough for Mr I have-profound-tattoos Hummel.”

“But you’re my hero” he pouted, holding out his hands. “Please come back here”

Blaine glared over at him for a second longer before practically diving back over to the bed, trapping Kurt’s head between his forearms to kiss him.

“Mmmm, much better” Kurt sighed as Blaine’s settled back onto his chest. “I meant that by the way” he added, running his fingers softly up and down Blaine’s back. Blaine twisted his head to look up at him.

“What, that the Marshall is your soulmate?” he joked. Kurt slapped his shoulder.

“No, I mean about you being my hero.”

“Aww” Blaine cooed.

“No I really mean it” he insisted “you’re one of the best things to ever happen to me.”

Blaine’s face fell “I’m not a hero Kurt, you know that.” He rested his cheek back on Kurt’s sternum, listening along to his heartbeat. Usually that sort of thing made him uncomfortable, he was always insecure it would stop while he was listening to it. Here though, with Kurt, tired and warm, it just felt like listening to his own, and he knew he wouldn’t mind his own stopping if this was the last memory he would ever have.

“Take me seriously for a second. You made every dream I’ve ever had come true within 48 hours.”

“What dreams were those?” he mumbled, closing his eyes.

“Well I’ve always wanted to pilot a Jaeger. I’ve always wanted to beat someone with a bo staff. I’ve always wanted someone I could just…talk to.”

“Two of those at least point to the fact that I was a vessel for your dreams to come true. There’s a difference.” He pointed out “I could walk out now and you’d still have the majority of them”

“Stop raining on my parade Anderson, god. I’m trying to make you feel good here.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not working” he pushed himself up a second time, staying seated on the edge of the bed. “It’s getting late, you should probably go back to your room.”

“Blaine.”

“Don’t wreck it Kurt, please. I’ll see you in the morning” he leaned backwards and pecked him on the cheek before pulling on a pair of military issue combats.

“No” Kurt said sternly. Blaine stopped what he was doing and turned to look at him “I’m staying here tonight.”

“I don’t want to kick you out or anything, I just figured we should get some sleep before tomorrow” Blaine said lightly, trying to smile.

“I can sleep here.” He shimmied down on the bed and pulled the sheets back over his torso.

Blaine sighed in frustration. “Come on Kurt, please? We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Well then we better get some sleep then hadn’t we?” He nodded seriously up at Blaine until he rolled his eyes and gave in, slipping back into bed after turning off the light.

“What if someone comes to get me tomorrow morning?” he asked, still wary of the situation.

“Then I’ll answer the door and give them the shock of their lives. Turn around.”

“Yes, sir” he laughed “somebody’s in charge tonight huh.”

“Do you want to sleep? I like being the big spoon”

“Fine by me” Blaine affirmed, letting Kurt wrap his arms around his torso. He felt a quick kiss at the back of his neck and smiled.

“I thought we were sleeping?”

“I am.” Kurt mumbled into his hair.

They lapsed into silence. After a few moments Blaine opened his mouth to ask another question “Kurt you still awake?” a grunt “what did you mean before about the Marshall being your soulmate?”

“I was kidding you know” he said sleepily, through a yawn.

“I know.” He fell quiet for another few minutes. It was still nagging at the back of his mind though, so he opened his mouth to talk again “It’s just…I guess that’s the other word for a drift partner right? That’s what drifting is. Your perfect match…” He trailed off, hearing Kurt’s breathing level out. “Soulmates” he whispered again, as he closed to eyes to sleep.

 


	2. On what wings dare he aspire?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise arrival sends Kurt reeling, and when disaster strikes, he and Blaine must find a way to hold together and fight for the hope they, and the rest of humanity, desperately needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two! A reminder that this has been edited again since I first posted it, although less has been altered on this chapter that was the last. Enjoy!

In what distant deeps or skies. 

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?

On what wings dare he aspire?

What the hand, dare seize the fire?

\- _Tyger_ , William Blake

 

 

Blaine woke in a panic. He felt trapped, constricted, like he couldn’t breathe. He lashed around with his arms, finding them useless and listless. His eyes snapped open. The room was dark, and it wasn’t empty. He heard a grunt and wiggled around to find Kurt’s face nuzzling into his neck and shoulder. He sniffled a bit and stopped moving.

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, spotting the arms, and the obvious form lying half across him.

Then he grinned.

Glancing over at the glowing clock on his nightstand, he groaned. 5:27. Kurt moved next to him, wrapping himself closer around Blaine until a few prods had him opening his eyes blearily at him.

“Ugh.” he grunted and let his head drop, inhaling deeply at Blaine’s throat.

“Please don’t tell me you’re a vampire thirsting for my blood. I don’t need any more surprises thanks.” Kurt grunted again. “Kurt c’mon, we gotta get up.”

“Hmm.”

“No Kurt seriously, we’re dropping today. We need food and…oh shit, nobody knows, nobody know, oh shit, shit  _shit._ ” He began to panic, eyes wide on the ceiling. Kurt patted his chest.

“Hey,” he croaked, looking up “s’fine. Nobody will care.”

“W-we don’t know how this has affected us Kurt, I mean it was great and all but I mean- come on, this could have totally screwed everything up.” he couldn’t swallow against the dryness of his throat.

“Well I feel fine.” Kurt pointed out “Let’s just doze for a bit, hmmm?”

“But Kurt-“

“Oh for heaven’s sake.” Kurt rolled up into a sitting position and reached for his underwear. Blaine leant up and switched on the lamp next to him. It filled the room with a warm glow, illuminating Kurt’s back, moving as he fiddled with his pants. Blaine shuffled up and reached out, tracing a finger once along his spine. The boy shivered.

“Don’t.” Kurt chastised, although Blaine could see his smile “I hate it when people do that.”

“I’m sorry. I just…love it so much”

“The tattoo?”

Blaine nodded, running his fingers across the rest of the design briefly before replacing them with his lips. Kurt gasped and then nudged him off. “I thought we had to be up early?”

“Mmmm yeah, okay we do.” he pulled back reluctantly and mirrored Kurt’s movements. Once they were both dressed they collected themselves, diving in for their last few kisses and then exited out into the corridor. They gathered looks on the way, maybe in the overly casual way they walked, or the foot of space they kept between themselves at all times. It was stupid; relationships between pilots wasn’t prohibited, just frowned upon. And Blaine still had his loophole. Right?

They were two of the first down to mess, choosing to sit opposite each other to avoid running the risk of false politeness bristling the suspicion of those around them. Kurt nudged Blaine’s foot under the table.

“You as nervous as yesterday?” he asked, biting into a banana.

“No. I don’t think so. The new name helps.”

“Tyger Bright.” Kurt said, almost reverently.

“We should probably inform the Marshall of that by the way.”

“Inform me of what, Mr Anderson?” Blaine flinched so hard his spoon clattered to the table. He turned and smiled at the Marshall, who stood with his hands clasped behind his back, a curious smile on his face.

“Our Jaeger. Kurt said it needed a new name.”

The Marshall nodded “we wouldn’t usually go through the trials of renaming a machine but with the tackle it took, it’s practically unrecognisable anyway. What did you gentleman have in mind?”

“Tyger, Bright sir. Tyger Bright.” Kurt chimed hopefully “Like the Blake poem.”

The Marshall arched an eyebrow, chewing over the choice. Blaine clenched his fist in hope. After a second, he nodded again. Blaine exhaled. “I approve. I’ll inform the crew. You two keep yourselves ready, we’re expecting an attack any time now.”

“Yes sir.” Blaine replied, and turned back to his food. Kurt kissed his teeth.

“I don’t think we could be more obvious if we tried” he remarked.

“We’re not even…why are we avoiding this anyway? It’s not like there’s anything against it.” Blaine sighed “although I guess it’ll put a preconception in their heads.”

“Yeah it will. I mean, really we only have to wait until the first drift, and how hard can that be?” Kurt grimaced. Blaine reached over and took his hand firmly.

“We’re going to be fine, okay? We feel fine, we’re not nervous. If anything I feel ten times more connected to you than I did yesterday.”

It looked like Kurt had some difficulty letting out the breath he had been holding in his lungs, but when he did he smiled softly and squeezed Blaine’s fingers back. The delayed blink was all Blaine needed to know. He took his hand back and began eating again.

Blaine should really have known that they were working on borrowed time, because really, when did anything go right? When did hope ever extract anything but disappointment? It started with Kurt freezing at the sight of something over Blaine’s shoulder. His fork clattered to the table, sending scrambled eggs bouncing to the floor “Kurt.”

“I…” he began to push himself up, leaving his half eaten breakfast. Blaine followed his line of vision as he moved around the table. He was looking over at a small commotion spreading across the room in whispers and starts. Blaine stood.

“Kurt?” he asked again, moving up next to him “what are you seeing?”

“I don’t-I can’t.” He started to walk towards the group, Blaine close on his heels. The group was becoming rowdier; Blaine could see people being shoved here and there below the noise, and a head above the crowd, someone far too tall. There was more shoving, and the tall man stumbled out into view.

Blaine almost choked.  _No, no this cannot be happening_. His eyes shot to Kurt, stood a few feet to his right.

“F-f…” Kurt was pinned in place. Blaine kicked himself into gear, stepping in front of Kurt and taking him by the shoulders. He stared blankly at the man behind him.

“Kurt, Kurt listen. He’s real, he’s here. Breathe.” He said urgently “This is real. Don’t panic, just breathe with me okay?” he took a deep breath as Kurt did the same, his own stuttering slightly on each exhale. He kept it up, making him breathe. The commotion had stopped, or at least he thought it had. Until…

“Kurt.” the man called over from across the hall

Kurt tensed under Blaine’s hands. Blaine gripped harder. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just keep breathing.”

“y-you…” Kurt stuttered “you…you asshole!” he shoved past Blaine and charged towards the man before he could get a hold of him, swinging his arm backwards and slamming his fist upwards into the man’s jaw. The familiar stranger stumbled back.

“Kurt!” Blaine yelled, following him. “Kurt calm down!

“Calm down?” he spat, jerking his arm out of Blaine’s grip “ _calm down_?”

“Whoa man, you got stronger since High School” the man muttered, with a smile “and taller.”

Kurt breathed heavily, staring the boy down, “how.”

The man shrugged “it was confidential. If I hadn’t disappeared, I would be dead.”

“So you just…oh my god.” Kurt turned away, running a hand through his hair. “Oh my  _god_ , I think I’m going to be sick.”

Blaine stepped over, crouching in front of Kurt where he was stooped, hands braced on his thighs. “Kurt, please listen. If this is going to throw you off I can get rid of him.”

Kurt shook his head, swallowing hard. Blaine looked at the floor briefly and then stood, patting Kurt’s shoulder. Then he zoned in on the too tall man stood in front of him.

“I’m Blaine.” He explained, leaving Kurt to recover. He eyed up the man’s condition. His hair was dry and flat, clothes dirty, backpack ripped and repaired too many times to count. “I’m Kurt’s drift partner.”

The man’s eyes widened, “My little bro is a Jaeger pilot?”

“I’m not your little bro Finn” Kurt muttered, appearing at Blaine’s side. “I haven’t been for the past three years. Just like Rachel wasn’t your girlfriend, Carole wasn’t your mom. Because you were  _dead.”_

“Somehow I thought you’d be happy to see me” Finn said bitterly, cradling his quickly bruising jaw.

Kurt stepped back in surprise. Blaine could see the anger rolling off him in the way his jaw was set, fists loose but stiff at his sides. He braced himself.

But Kurt just shook his head and turned around, striding back towards the doors that led out of the hall.

“Kurt! C'mon man!” Finn yelled after him. Blaine held up a hand.

“Don't.” He muttered, and then followed Kurt. He caught up just as he was rounding a corner in the corridor and then checking to see if it was empty, he sped up until he was back in front of him again. Kurt paused, not trying to get past. After a second and another glance around, Blaine shuffled forward and took Kurt’s hand. It shook against his palm. He twined their fingers together, gripping hard. “What are you feeling?”

Kurt shook his head, pushing his free hand into his eyes to halt the tears in their path, lip trembling despite the effort “s'not happening” he whispered under his breath over and over “not happening, not happening, not happening.”

“God, Kurt.” He groaned.

Blaine wrapped his arms around the boy’s torso, pulling him in tight. He could feel his body trembling, shoulders hunched and tight. He rubbed his back, clutched the back of his head to his neck. “It’s okay” he whispered. It’ll be okay.”

A sound reached them from the hall door around the corner. Kurt pulled back and wiped frantically at his face just as the Marshall strode into view. He looked angry. Blaine didn’t let go of Kurt’s hand.

“What the hell just happened in there?” he demanded, almost decapitating a man with his wild hand gesture.

“Take no offence sir,” Kurt started “but I’d like to know how and why my brother is here. And why I was never informed of it.” His voice was clear and cool, much more confident than Blaine had expected.

“Your brother was never meant to leave his post. We…” the Marshall looked away from them “we kept you apart because we knew it could affect you both if you knew of each other’s existence within the organisation. This is the resistance Mr Hummel, we couldn’t let either of you slip.”

“So you just left Kurt with the impression that his brother was dead?” Blaine interjected, feeling the anger rise in himself “that’s…that’s not moral. It’s  _cruel_ , even.”

“War is not moral Mr Anderson. You of all people should know that.”

There was a pause, where the Marshall studied them both, glancing down at their joined hands. Blaine swallowed the slight hint of worry creeping up his spine. Kurt squeezed his hand to instil some confidence, and then let go. He took a deep breath.

“I want to speak to him,” he said calmly “I want an explanation. Or we’re out.”

“I don’t think-”

“You don’t get to think anything, Marshall” Kurt interrupted loudly, shoulders straightening “he is my brother by law. I have a right to speak to him. Or you can forget about us drifting ever again. We’ll walk out.”

“I’ll beg you not to make Mr Anderson’s decisions for him-”

“He’s right.” Blaine joined “Kurt gets to see his brother or we walk out. You gave me a loophole, well this is it. You won’t find another drift like this one sir. I know how much strength we can create, I know how much stronger we can be. You let us walk out, you lose your last hope.” He finished on the end of a breathe, acknowledging the small smile Kurt gave him from the corner of his eye. “Your choice, Marshall”

The Marshall looked between them, sighed, and then gestured to one of the men surrounding him “Fetch Mr Hudson. We’ll talk in my office Mr Hummel, now.”

Kurt visibly relaxed, taking a small step back, “thank you” he nodded, watching the Marshall walk away. He closed his eyes.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Blaine asked quietly once they were alone again.

“No,” Kurt huffed “but I don’t really have a choice. I want to be clear when we drift Blaine,” he turned and took his hand again “I don’t want to put you in danger.”

Blaine nodded and then stepped forward for a kiss, pulling Kurt close by the fabric of his shirt. “I’m proud of you,” he murmured when the kiss progressed into a warm and tight embrace. He pecked Kurt’s cheek again as he pulled away.

“I want you to be.” Kurt whispered, and then left him stood in the middle of the corridor, feeling both hopelessly happy, and helplessly lost.

It was hours before Kurt returned, looking worn and exhausted. His face was puffy, eyes bloodshot and hair flopping sadly in his eyes. He knocked sparingly on Blaine’s door around 5pm.

“Hey.” Blaine breathed as he stumbled in, falling flat onto Blaine’s bed, face down. “how’d it go?”

Kurt grunted into his pillow. The same pillow they had shared last night. Blaine’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest. “Coffee?” he asked, resting his hand on the kettle. Kurt grunted again. Blaine took it as a yes and pulled two mugs from the small supply of items he was provided with upon entering the facility. Nothing that would seem to give him any instance of freedom, but enough to make him feel at home. Small luxuries.

Kurt shuffled up into a sitting position, holding his hand up to Blaine. The latter curled up into his side, kissing his neck quickly, “you want to talk about it?”

“It was just…so much. Too much for a Tuesday.” The kettle clicked and forced Blaine up to pour the steaming water into their respective cups. He handed one to Kurt and they moved to sit cross legged facing one another. Kurt let the steam warm his face, making his forehead shine. Blaine’s shoulders slumped. Half of him had hoped that the knowledge would cheer him up, fill in the blanks. Instead, all it seemed to have done was drain his morale. “He was part of the original resistance, that’s why his life was in danger. I can understand why, I just can’t understand… _why._ ”

Blaine reached forward and rubbed his knee gently, “did it make you any feel better?”

“Honestly?” he inhaled deeply and then let it out slowly, slumping even more, “I don’t know. I keep expecting this great wave of relief to sweep over me but it just feels…stale, like it’s come too late. There’s no…comprehension of what I should be feeling. It just is.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Blaine struggled. Kurt didn’t reply, just kept his coffee close under his nose. After a second he pushed the hair out of his face and opened his mouth to speak.

“I just…this changed so me for me. So much  _of_  me. I moved the whole width of a country because of it, I became a different person because of it. I got better. Who am I…W-who am I without that?” his chest began to rise and fall faster than normal, and although it looked like he had no more tears to cry, his body seemed to think otherwise.

“Hey, hey, hey” Blaine urged “you are  _you,_  you haven’t changed just because Finn is alive. You still did all of those things,” he assured him “you still kicked ass, you still did the best you could do. Circumstance changed you sure, but not Finn. Finn did nothing but disappear. This doesn’t make your achievements void, Kurt” he finished, hand still rubbing gently across his knee.

“I still don’t-It’s just so…” he trailed off, chin dropping to his chest. Blaine reached to lift his face up to his own, forcing Kurt to meet his eyes

“We never would have met. You wouldn’t be piloting. Just because he’s back, doesn’t mean you have to resent that fact.”

Kurt nodded weakly and slowly tipped forward to rest his head on Blaine’s chest. Blaine rubbed his neck softly. “You’re still Kurt. You’re still my drift partner. Still my hero.”

Kurt laughed through a sniffle “I thought you didn’t believe in heroes?”

“You’re wrecking the moment.” he jibbed, poking his shoulder.

“that’s me” Kurt confirmed “endless wrecker of moments. I mean, think of the moment you could have had with your breakfast if I hadn’t wrecked it”

“Smartass.”

Kurt shrugged and took a sip of coffee. Blaine’s face fell serious again.

“What do you want to do?” he asked calmly.

“I want to…get ready. I want to be ready to drift with you. I don’t want him distracting me.”

“Are you sure?” Blaine replied warily “do you want to cut him off like that? He’s still your brother, Kurt.”

“I just, don’t want to deal with it yet. The Marshall’s told us a million times there’s another attack due any second. I don’t want to be an ugly mess climbing into that Jaeger.”

“Impossible.” Blaine gasped.

“Speak for yourself.” Kurt teased, scrunching up his nose. Blaine giggled, dropping his head at the blush creeping up his neck. “Aww, did I embarrass my hero?” he cooed.

“Kurt, stop. I’m not a hero” he whined

“You’re  _my_  hero. Maybe not the people’s hero, but my hero. Can you deal with that?”

He didn’t wait for an answer, just tilted his head to kiss him, taking the words from his lips.  _Your hero. I can do that._

They were woken from their brief reverie, coffee cold in their hands where they sat leant into each other, by a harsh knock on the door. Blaine waved Kurt down and stood to answer it. He peeked briefly through the peephole, surprised at who was stood outside. He turned his head and mouthed  _Finn_  at Kurt. Kurt shook his head.

Blaine opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind him. Finn looked confused, “I thought this was Kurt’s room?”

“Why would you think that?” Blaine said tiredly

“I saw him…it doesn’t matter. Have you seen him?”

Blaine considered for a moment and then settled on the fact that it was his room. If he didn’t want to let Finn in to see Kurt, he didn’t have to. “He’s inside. He doesn’t want to see you right now.”

“And how would you know that?” Finn asked with resentment in his tone, “I don’t think you really have a right to make his decisions.” He tried to step past but Blaine had a hand in the crook of his elbow, pushing him back.

“And you don’t have a right to force yourself on him. Frankly, you don’t really deserve it.”

“Alright dude, what is your issue? What makes you think you know my brother better than me?”

Blaine stared blankly at him.

“I’m his drift partner,” he deadpanned “I know more about him than anyone in the world ever will.”

“And that somehow gives you the right to talk with his voice?” Finn spat.

“No, the fact that I l-” he cut himself off, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. His heart was hammering, the words flashing across his vision like a picture show. He swallowed them. “Because I care about him, and because he talks to me. He doesn’t want to see you Finn, so just drop it. We’ve got important work to get prepared for.”

He turned back for the door but Finn had hold of his arm, pulling him down into the corridor. “Get  _off_  me.”

“Not until you let me explain everything to Kurt. He didn’t even give me a chance to apologise back there.”

“Do you not get it?” Blaine asked, almost laughing “Kurt changed everything about himself because of what happened to you. Luckily for the better, and luckily it led him to me but…do you realise how badly this could have ended. I’ve been inside his mind Finn, I know how he thinks, how his mind works. Do you even know how much impact you have had on him in his life?”

“I’ve explained-”

“No!” Blaine said loudly, feeling anger rushing through mind, dissolving any self-control he had left. This was  _Kurt_ , and Finn wasn’t seeing it. “Back in high school, how he felt like nothing, how he felt like he could just disappear and nobody would care. How he wanted to disappear because of guys like you! And you just stood by! I watched it, you walking right on past while your ‘buddies’” he made speech marks around the word “made his life a living hell! Do you understand how close he came to ending it all Finn? Do you?!”

He was breathing heavily, vision blurred by tears. He could see every moment replayed in front of his eyes just like they had in the drift. He blinked the saline from his eyes to see Finn looking confused and taken aback.

“I don’t-”

“No, you don’t. So just…stay away. This is the first time he’s had something he’s wanted, something completely his own. Give Kurt a chance.” he spat and then reached for the door, managing to get it open without any obstruction. He pressed his back against it in the quiet, looking ahead but saying nothing. Kurt’s face swam in front of his own.

“Blaine? Blaine…oh my god you’re shaking.” He felt himself being guided to his bed, being pushed into a sitting position. Kurt straddling his lap, pressing their bodies together. Blaine’s arms hung limp by his sides. He was trying to speak but no noise was coming out, all he could feel was the steady thump of his heart and the anger melting from his body. Kurt was stroking his hands through his hair, whispering nonsense into his ear.

“Don’t leave.” He managed as a croak. Kurt pulled back.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He murmured, running his thumb softly across his cheek.

“Please” he pleaded, looking up into his eyes. Kurt shook his head, emotion clouding his own.

“Not going anywhere.” Kurt breathed, kissing his temple, his ear, his neck. “Promise”

He wanted to sit like this forever, hands gripping the back of Kurt’s shirt, eyes soaking the fabric at his shoulder. He wanted to sleep and kiss and forget everything.

“Leave with me” he murmured, not really understanding the words until they were out of his mouth. But then he heard their conviction, felt the rise in his chest as he said them.

“What?” Kurt spoke.

“Leave with me. We could leave, we could go inland, find somewhere s-safe. Just you and me.”

“We can’t leave Blaine” Kurt muttered, climbing off his lap. Blaine stood up as soon as Kurt’s weight was gone from his thighs.

“Why not? I have a loophole.”

“The loophole…” Kurt breathed, standing up “we could just-”

His words were cut short by a sound that made Blaine’s blood run cold. His throat dried, Kurt’s eyes widened. They stood looking at each other, and then as one, reached for the door and plummeted out into the corridor, barrelling along, taking turns too fast and skidding wildly. They reached control in record time, gasping for air, faces still wet with tears.

The room was amok with confusion, monitors flashing painfully bright around them. They squeezed to the front, grasping hands to keep together. The Marshall spied them as soon as they broke through to the front of the room.

“We had no warning” he said in a panic “the monitors didn’t pick it up until it was right against the coast.

“What does that mean?” Blaine struggled against the instinct to take deep, filling breaths. Breathing could wait, his mind was telling him.

“I mean it’s already broken through to the city.”

“I don’t-” Kurt stammered

“It means, Mr Hummel” the Marshall answered firmly “that Tyger Bright is making her debut. Get ready to drop, gentlemen.”

* * *

 

“The colours don’t match.” Kurt muttered into his hands.

“What?” Blaine said, distracted for a moment from the jolting and shoving of the technician sticking bits of uniform to his legs. Sometimes he felt more ready for the battle of Bosworth than a Jaeger, but the armour had kept his head from being crushed only a matter of years ago, so he put up with it.

“The-the colours, the paint, they don’t match.” Kurt explained.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“They don’t _match_ Blaine!” he almost yelled.

“Okay, okay, calm down” he waved the technician off him and stepped over “can we have a minute?” he directed towards one of the technicians at a bay just behind them. She nodded and moved off. Blaine grabbed the side of Kurt’s neck and tried to pull his focus back. “Listen we’re going to be fine. It’s just one ride out, and then we can go. We can go back to New York, or San Francisco or Ohio. Wherever you want, we can go.”

 Kurt’s eyes were still avoiding his own, like they were following the progress of a swarm of bees just behind his head. Looking around himself, Blaine noticed that the platform was empty, and all he could hear through his earpiece was a steady buzzing. Perhaps the Marshall had finally remembered what it was like to drift properly for the first time. Whatever it was, Blaine thanked god for it. He turned his focus back to Kurt.

His breath was elevated, his face was panicked. He decided to tackle those first. “Kurt, look at me. Look at me” Kurt met his eyes reluctantly “breathe with me okay? Deep breath in, and out, like me, and again. Again.” He repeated the word until they were breathing in sync and the muscles under Blaine’s hand were beginning to relax. “Good, now keep breathing, and listen to me. Nothing matters now but us and that machine. We are what makes that machine come alive.” He pointed to the Jaeger doors “that machine is nothing without us, which means we are  _everything_  without  _it._  You hear me? Nothing else matters in there but us. Us and you and me and doing it together.”

“Finn.” Kurt whimpered after a moment.

“Doesn’t matter. Nobody matters. Nothing matters but the life-force we are going to give to that machine.” He rubbed a thumb lightly underneath Kurt’s eyes. “You are incredible Kurt, you can do this.”

Kurt didn’t move, until he raised a hand to grasp Blaine’s arm, turning his face into the hand across his cheek. He inhaled, pressed his lips into Blaine’s palm before letting out the smallest of ‘okay’s.

“Okay?”

“Okay” Kurt repeated, louder, firmer, “okay, let’s do this.”

Blaine grinned and took his hand back, “and here I was thinking you were the one full of pep talks.”

“Shut your mouth Anderson” Kurt shot, biting back a smile.

“Only in your-“

“Kurt.”

Both men turned at the voice, and the calm that had been overtaking Blaine’s veins a second ago, transformed almost instantly into cool, sharp, anger, spiking up all over his body.

He went to take a step forward, but Kurt had a hand on his arm before he’d moved more than a foot.

“Blaine.” he warned.

Finn swallowed visibly, looking between them.

“I just want to see Kurt.” He said eventually into the silence. Blaine scoffed.

“You mean you actually think-“

“Blaine” Kurt said again, softer “it’s okay.”

Finn lowered his eyes until Kurt spoke again, “what do you want Finn.”

He looked up and shrugged “I just wanted to say I’m sorry, again. I need you to know that.”

“Really bad timing.” Blaine pointed out. Kurt shot him a warning glance, silently telling to back off, while he himself took a step forward.

“You shouldn’t be here-“

“I know I just-“

“No you shouldn’t be here, but you are, so I want you to listen, and understand.”

Finn swallowed again and after a few seconds, nodded “okay.”

“Good” Kurt stated, straightening. He looked back at Blaine and smiled softly. An ‘it’s okay’ smile.  An ‘I think I can do this’ smile.’

A ‘please stay’ smile.

Blaine took it and stored it and nodded the smallest nods. Kurt looked at the ground, then at his hands, then back up at Finn.

“I hate that you’re here,” he started “I hate that you’re back. I hate  _you_  a little bit, for leaving me to look after Rachel, for leaving dad to look after Carole. Don’t you think she’s lost enough?”

“I just didn’t-“

“Shut up and listen. I want this to be okay. You don’t think I wish I could welcome you back with open arms? I want that more than… _anything._  But I can’t have it, because after you died, I stopped being Kurt Hummel. I left NYADA, I left New York. The family I had there, the friends. I left Adam, who didn’t deserve it. I became someone I didn’t even recognise.”

“I didn’t  _want_  that to happen, Kurt.”

“What you wanted doesn’t matter Finn” Kurt pointed out calmly, almost helplessly “you don’t matter anymore. The only person that matters is him.” He pointed backwards at Blaine behind him whose head was lowered. “Him and me, that’s all that matters. All that’s ever mattered as much as you seem to think my reaction to your actions does.”

 His voice was beginning to wobble, so Blaine took a step forward and turned his back to Finn, looking sideways at Kurt, whose eyes were shining, taking his hand gently in his own. “You are nothing to me right now and  _god_  I want you to be, but you can’t be, don’t you see that? You took something that we can’t get back, that you can’t  _give_ me back, and it’s too much Finn. You keep saying these words and trying to jam this piece back into me but it’s too late. It’s gone.” He paused, lip trembling, and then with words quieter than he’d spoken to Blaine the night before he finished: “We are  _nothing_  anymore.”

Blaine didn’t turn to see Finn’s expression, just watched a lone tear build its path down Kurt’s face and listened for his footsteps dying away into the distance. Kurt let out a breath and stumbled back, shoulders falling, the rest of the tears escaping his eyes as he closed them against the sight of his brother walking away from him again. After a second he turned to Blaine “I didn’t know what else to do” he explained weakly. Blaine nodded and pulled Kurt’s face to the crook of his neck “please don’t do what he did” he mumbled into his skin and Blaine shook his head, stroking his fingers through Kurt’s coloured hair.

“Never.” He whispered “I promise.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

They both stood straight and watched the Marshall stepping up, followed by a swarm of technicians who moved back into their places around various consoles. Their own technicians, the ones waiting with trolleys of uniform, stood by.

“I’m sorry too.” Kurt said, sniffing “but I’m not sorry for not wanting him here.”

“So you shouldn’t be. It was partially my decision that brought him here, and for that I apologise. I can see now it probably wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“You think.” Blaine muttered under his breath. The Marshall dipped his head “This is important gentlemen, the world’s hope in the Jaeger initiative is failing. Soon the Wall of Life might take precedence, and we know where that will leave us.” Blaine licked his lips and nodded. “Mr Hummel I understand your nerves, and Mr Anderson, I understand your reluctance, but we aren’t playing fair anymore, so I can’t play fair with you. You either suit up and shut up, or we leave the world in more peril than it has any right to be in. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” They both said quietly, one after the other.

“Good. Now do what you do best. Good Luck.” He turned without another word and began jogging away down the corridor.

“No pressure.” Kurt mumbled.

“Never.”

“Hey Blaine.” Kurt called, helmet in hand.

“Yeah?”

“I heard what you said last night, about drift partners.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. And I think you’re right. I think that’s the perfect word to use.”

Blaine had to physically hold himself back from throwing his arms around Kurt’s neck, but then he was being shuffled forward by too many hands, putting a helmet over his head, grinning into the fog his breath was making on the glass before the pressure levelled out, and his sight was clear again.

The Marshall’s voice was sharp in his ear  _“you ready boys?”_

“More than.”

“Absolutely.”

_“Excellent. Initiating Neural Handshake”_

The second time was different. They wavered, but pulled it back, both knowing where that waver was coming from. Blaine felt Kurt’s anger, but he watched it melting away, not taking control. In its place came a warm understanding, a welcoming hand which he knew came from what he was seeing of Blaine. Last night, the moment they had met, all the times before that when they thought they’d reached all they were likely to get in this lifetime. Now, connected, together, being as one as they could be, they knew they had so much more. They’d hardly even scratched the surface.

Suddenly, within 48 hours, he’d found everything he’d never had, something to fill every crack and every chip in his character.  Without so much as a warning, he’s been thrown full pelt into another person, and instead of cowering, running like he always had, he’d just existed, and let Kurt exist, and somehow their existences had become one.

“You’re so damn sappy.” Kurt’s voice buzzed through his helmet. Blaine blushed.

“It’s funny how I forget you can read my every thought when I used to do this for a living.” He muttered.

_“Alright this is it gents, get yourselves ready.”_

“Oh okay crap I didn’t think I’d be this nervous.” Kurt laughed.

“You’ll be fine, just remember I’m here. When you forget that is when we’ll start running into problems.”

“I don’t think I could if I tried.”

Blaine flexed the fingers on his right hand and felt Kurt do the same as they tried not to concentrate on the dizzying effect of feeling themselves dropping. This was the part Blaine hated. He was fine before, fine when he was waist deep in the ocean, but the dropping, it was unnerving. He lacked control, had to rely on somebody else, and that was something he had always struggled with. Add into the mix that the last time he did this he had ended up in a coma for  several days and well…he was highly anticipating being back in control.

It happened quicker than he’d thought, a jolt coursing upwards from his feet, knocking the balance from him momentarily. The screen in front of them cleared, calibrated to life, showing them a view of the bay he didn’t think he’d ever see again.

“Well that’s quite something.” Kurt said.

“So is that,” Blaine murmured “yeah I got my eyes on that bastard.”

“Oh holy crap that’s huge.”

“And guess what?” Blaine asked with a smirk “we’re gonna kill it.”

Kurt turned and shot Blaine an arched eyebrow “well then let’s go, Anderson.”

“On three-oh no okay, right then.”

Kurt had moved his foot, taking Blaine’s with him and usually it would have set off ten million alarm bells in his mind, but he was right there with him, he could see Kurt’s plan, where he was setting his feet, the way he planned to move. It was like they’d done this a hundred times before.

The Kaiju was no further than half a mile out from the city, and moving fast.

_“That’s a category three guys”_  came a voice Blaine didn’t recognise _“doesn’t look like its adapted likes some of our previous…visitors. Try and keep it off the beach, yeah?”_

“On it” Blaine replied “Kurt can we cut across it do you think, or are we going to have to draw it back out?”

“I think we’re risking it getting so close to the shore.” He sounded out of breath, as was Blaine.

“We could push it back. Is it worth it?”

“I don’t know…”

Blaine squinted out to it, made note of what features on the creature he could see. He was wary forming a plan though, knowing how likely it was that the creature might have weapons hidden beneath the waves. It wouldn’t be the first time a Jaeger had gone in and come up a minute later with a claw through and through the machine’s chest cavity.

“It looks like…that head looks out of proportion to the rest of its body. I’d hazard a guess that that’s where it directs its power.”

“You think?”

“Well look at its arms, they’re like T-rex arms.”

“If that tries to bundle past us…”

“We’re screwed” Blaine finished, more to himself than to Kurt, but nevertheless he heard.

“Let’s try and get it to turn around. It’ll follow what can be destroyed” Kurt suggested “as long as we can pull its focus.”

“This Jaeger has you in it” Blaine teased, raising his arm with Kurt “it’s bound to pull focus.”

“Not the time Blaine!” Kurt yelled.

“Come. On.  _Tyger_ ”

They both felt the kick back, sending them wobbling for a split second, but the shot whistled towards its target, hitting it square in the side of the torso. The creature reeled, crying out angrily, ripping sound waves apart in a noise that struck them both to the bone.

“That is not pleasant.” Kurt whimpered through gritted teeth.

“And it’s doing something weird to our systems too” Blaine grunted.

_“Code name Siren”_  came the voice again  _“that frequency is sending everything haywire, hold on.”_

The noise cut out, and the pressure Blaine was feeling wrapping around his skull let up. He raked in a breath. “We need to deal with that.”

“Maybe we should get more up close and personal. Shooting it from this distance just seems to make it angry.”

“Did the trick though.” The Kaiju had turned its attention to them. “Yeah that’s right, come have some fun.”

“Blaine what is the plan here?” Kurt asked, turning his head.

“There isn’t one.”

“…right.”

“Why, what do you suggest?” Blaine said as they turned the Jaeger around. The Kaiju was approaching fast, much faster than it had any right to considering its size.

“Well first things first I think get the hell out of the – _hmph_  – way.” They jerked sideways, barely getting out the way in time for the Kaiju to charge past them and back down into the water. “And I think you’re right about that head.”

“Head and voice, alright” Blaine said, hitting buttons on the screen in front of him. “Everything seems back online, let’s give it a pounding.”

“BLAINE!”

“Your dirty –  _huh_  – mind -  _arg_  – not mine” he said, punctuating the sentence with punches as the creature emerged from the waves. It gathered itself again, lowered its body and leapt.

And this time they didn’t get out of the way in time.

They flew backwards, colliding with the metalwork behind them with enough force to take the wind from a horse. Blaine’s vision faded momentarily, the sudden lack of air in his lungs starving him of oxygen. The dizziness passed in time for his body to lurch back into a standing position. He grappled with the wires and cables around him to get himself straight, blinking furiously to get his eyes to focus again. When they did he frowned. The screen ahead was clear; no Kaiju, no city. Just open sea.

“Kurt.” he grunted, fingers flexing. No response. He turned his head. The boy was hunched over, but with a glance over his suit Blaine couldn’t spot any fault. “Kurt!” he said, louder. The latter moaned, towing his body upright. Blaine let out a sigh of relief.

“Don’t know if I can take one of those again.” He said, voice barely there.

“Are you okay?” Blaine called over, eyes flicking between Kurt and the monitors in front of him. His eyes widened. “Well you’re going to have to be because that thing isn’t waiting for us. Turn,  _now._ ”

He reached out to his partner, sharing his strength as their legs worked against the current. They had an arm up as the creature emerged from the water, knocking into them with as much force as before. They steadied, prepared this time, grunting in exertion as the creature pushed against them.

“Push it back!” Blaine yelled.

“No!” Kurt called back “We need to start fighting with fire - brute strength isn’t going to be enough.”

It was then that it let rip with another scream.

Both men cried out, bodies going tense. Blaine heard the crackle and jolting of the wiring around him, felt the noise squeezing his head in a vice grip. 

“Blaine!” he heard in his head, Kurt’s voice struggling against the noise. It felt like a wire, slowly permeating skin and skull and brain. He could practically feel his head splitting in two. “Left arm.” He heard Kurt’s voice say again.

He gripped his hand into a fist, followed Kurt’s directions, lifting his arm back and away while power surged and gathered around the weapon’s barrel.

“Now!” 

The weapon fired, projecting venomous electricity into the creature’s side. The noise stopped, dropping away like the tide. Blaine hauled in a breath and shook his head. His hands began working of their own accord, lifting together and slamming down into the creature’s head, pushing it back below the surface. Wires buzzed and blew around him, the stretching and hammering becoming too much for the Jaeger having already taken on so much damage. 

“Marshall.” Blaine said. The line kept buzzing. “Marshall!” 

“I think we’ve lost them.”

Blaine swallowed.  _Shit._  He thought.  _Shit shit shit._

“I thought we were top of the line.” Blaine said, checking the screen in front of him. It was flashing like a disco ball, alerting him to breaches all over the body of the machine. He tapped it, swiping left and right. “Power hasn’t been depleted yet, but the joints are starting to struggle.”

“Maybe bringing Cobalt Steel out again wasn’t the best idea.” 

Blaine stayed silent, swallowing the fear and dread that came with that name. For a second it was Sebastian next to him, not Kurt, and the fear on Kurt’s face, was the fear on Sebastian’s, before a claw had erupted from the metal behind them. He closed his eyes and tried to pull it back, but it was too familiar. The waver, the push and pull between them. 

Doubt was blowing the connection right off course. He could distantly hear Kurt in his ear, calling his name, but all he could see was a flashing blue light beneath his eyelids, trapping them closed, trapping him within his body. He wanted to be out of it, he wanted to be free again, not constricted and held down by metal and the soul of another person held so closely to his own.

_But it’s Kurt_  another voice said in the back of his mind, and a flash of new memories, Kurt’s panicked face in a small apartment on the coast of Siberia. Kurt clutching a clipboard and chewing his lip between his teeth. Kurt with a staff in hand, smirking over his crouched stance. Kurt with tears on his face. Kurt’s skin under his palm. Kurt’s mouth over his. Kurt’s breath. Kurt’s smell. Kurt. Kurt.  _Kurt._

His face was rammed forward into the monitors, shocking him back to reality. The buzzing and crackling had gotten louder, and sparks were flying. Something was wrong, he could feel it. It clouded his mind with confusion, fogged up his senses with pain. He craned his head around, realising he’d come loose from the suit attachment. He was flat on his stomach.

He coughed, clawing at his helmet to get it off his head before he suffocated. He got it off in time to hear Kurt’s whimper, and looked around to see him propped against the wall of the hull, swathed in darkness. Something was beeping intermittently, and he could feel water on his face; sea spray pouring from a hole directly across from where Kurt had been positioned. Blaine pushed himself to his knees, crawling as much as he could with his aching body dragging helplessly behind him. Kurt was coughing, breath rough and shallow.

That was when Blaine saw Kurt’s bare hand, clutching his front, covered in blood.

“No no no no Kurt, no.” He scrambled over, replacing Kurt’s hand with his own. “Kurt, oh god Kurt.”

“S’superficial” he groaned. “I’m more worried about the internal –  _ugh_  – damage.”

“Don’t move. Wh-what just…I don’t even remember the Kaiju coming back up.”

“You-  _hmmph_  – you disappeared for a second there. It popped up in front and ermm….secret weapon, in that head of his.”

“Shit I’m sorry I just…you said Cobalt Steel and I froze. Where did it go?”

“I killed it. We killed it. You didn’t really know you were –  _ugh_ ”

“Shhh don’t move.”

The blood was still welling up between Blaine’s fingers.

“I’m sorry about drugging you and bringing you to the place you hate most in the world.” Kurt said between coughs. His face was pale, sweat creeping up on his brow.

“And I’m sorry I was such a dick about it.” He replied, stroking a hand through Kurt’s hair. “I really was a dick wasn’t I?”

“You were.” Kurt affirmed with a weak smile “but I know that’s not the real you.”

“You’ve known me for three days” Blaine pointed out.

“It’s enough. Who else would sit next to a wounded man, holding the blood inside his body?”

“Not doing a very good job at it. Are you sure it’s superficial…” Blaine shifted his hand, pulling apart the suit.

He blanched.

“Kurt-“

“It’s nothing.”

“Fuck Kurt that is not  _nothing!_ ”

Something had been stabbed deeply into him, into the space between the bottom of his rib cage and his navel. Whatever it was though it was gone, leaving a tear in his skin, a deep wound leaking blood like a faucet opened all the way. Blaine covered his already drenched hand with his dry one. “Fuck, Kurt”

“S’fine” he waved a hand weakly “I’ll be fine.”

“Kurt this not fi… _fuck_ ” he pressed down as hard as he could, and looked up to see that Kurt was smiling, eyes drooping. “Whoa no Kurt, stay awake. Stay with me.”

“Like I’d leave you” he said, and coughed. Blaine could hear his breath rattling, a deep rumble coming with every cough. His heart was beating too hard in his chest, willing its way free from his ribcage. It wanted to beat next to Kurt’s; it wanted to save Kurt’s.

He was vaguely aware of a sharp pain above his eyes, and the fact that his sight was obstructed by a bright shade of red. He lifted a hand and wiped at it furiously, getting pressure back onto Kurt’s stomach as quickly as he could.

“Tell…tell me about Adam.” He said on a whim, thinking up a way to keep him awake.

“Won’t it drive you wild –  _cough_ \- with jealousy? –  _cough._ ”

“I don’t know. Should it?” he asked, pressing harder on his stomach, ears straining for the sound of a helicopter to get them out of the wreck Tyger Bright had become.

“Adam was great. He was…older, and blonde, and tall and hot.” He coughed. “He went to NYADA with me”  _cough_ “started the stupid glee club”  _cough_ “we almost got engaged”  _cough._

“Why didn’t you?”

“Finn…happened. God I wish I’d”  _cough_  “apologised.”

“No no no you don’t say that. You’ll have plenty of chances.” Blaine said, starting to panic. “You, you went to NYADA?” he asked desperately.

“Yeah. When I was young and dumb and still thought music was the cure to the world’s problems.” Kurt’s eyes began to droop again.

“Kurt!” he grabbed the side of his partner’s face. “So you used to sing? Me too. See, another thing we have in common”

Kurt let out something that might have been a laugh.

“You don’t believe me? Listen” he looked around, as if expecting a piano and guitar to pop into existence. A title appeared in the front of his mind and he swallowed “ _I have climbed the highest mountains_  
I have run through the fields  
Only to be with you  
Only to be with you.”

His voice quaked with the struggle that came with using his voice in a way he hadn’t in years. “see?” he said “you must be special. I don’t sing for every-“

“Get out of the program” Kurt said suddenly, eyes clearing again “please.”

“Kurt stop speaking like this you’re going to be  _fine._ ” He said through gritted teeth, hopelessness taking the place of panic in his gut and behind his eyes.

“Blaine,” he said softly, lifting a hand to hold Blaine’s closer to his face “I can’t lose somebody else. I can’t lose somebody else that I love.”

Blaine froze, letting the tears fall and not stopping them. Kurt jerked forward, coughing up what had been clogging his airways. Blaine braced him, trying not to scream to the sky _that this isn’t  fair. I’ve only just found him. We’ve haven’t even started yet._ He felt like the floor was dropping out from underneath him, like the world was spinning and he was caught in this moment of terror, like he’d never escape it. Kurt’s back found the wall again and he looked to Blaine with a smile.

“Kiss me.” He whispered, and without even thinking Blaine surged forward, joining their lips, not caring for the metallic taste on his tongue, or the slick texture of blood across his lips.

In that moment it was just him and Kurt, kissing while sea spray coated their bodies and a life-force bled its way between them.

* * *

 

There was a beeping in his ears, slowly breaking through the barrier of sleep Blaine had cocooned himself in. There was something over his shoulders too, something that hadn’t been there before. He opened his eyes a fraction, grimacing at the ache across his back and flinching away from the light. With a stretch he reached up and turned it off, and the room was swathed in darkness again. It was a blanket across his shoulders, he noticed slowly, and there was a cup of greyish liquid on the table next to his chair.  _Kim,_  he thought,  _always makes terrible coffee_.

He sat straighter, letting the blanket crumple to the floor. He took a glance at the monitors first, then at the bag of A+ blood hanging next to them, and finally into the pale still face of the man whose hand he had been holding for the last 48 hours. He didn’t even remember getting here, or the brace being attached to his wrist, stitches sewn into the gash above his eye. He didn’t remember a single moment other than worrying about the man lying in front of him, and the huge hole in his life that he would leave.

The beeping was the heart monitor, thrumming like hope. He noticed the sedative had gone from his rack, and the bag of blood wasn’t doing anything but hanging and waiting just in case Kurt tried to leave the world again. Blaine took a deep breath and let it out slowly, savouring every dip and curve of Kurt’s still form.  _He_  had done this, and he wasn’t going to let himself forget it. 

There was a noise outside, the sound of raised voices. Blaine turned his head just in time to see a strongly built man in a suit and tie come stumbling through the door. He took one look at Kurt and froze. He was quickly followed by a woman who looked panicked and apologetic.

“Burt honey – oh.” She had spotted the bed, and the man in it, but neither of them had succeeded in noticing Blaine. He slowly pushed himself to his feet, letting go of Kurt’s hand for the first time in what felt like weeks. He took a cautious step forward. 

“You err…you must be Mr Hummel” he directed at the man, voice croaking with lack of use. The man switched his gaze to Blaine, observing his unkempt hair, dressed cuts, bandages, ruffled clothes and dark circles. He said nothing. 

“I’m…I’m Blaine. I’m Kurt’s drift partner. I’m so-”

WHACK. 

Blaine went reeling, falling back into the chair that was so uncannily placed to catch him. He raised a hand to his cheek, and it came away bloody. The stitches had torn, and the sting was enough to tell him that he’d need a bit more effort to keep it closed this time. 

Burt Hummel disregarded the man he had just hit and moved to the other side of the bed, breathing heavily through his nose. The woman, looking teary, ushered Blaine out of the room, who followed without much protest. He felt dizzy. 

“Well I deserved that.” He muttered, once they were out in the corridor.

 “I’m so sorry about that oh god let me…your face.”

“It’s okay.” Blaine assured her, sinking onto a set of steps opposite Kurt’s room. From the outside it looked just like Blaine was waiting for him to wake up so they could jump back to action. The reality was heartrending.

“I’m a nurse, I know what’s good and what isn’t.” She looked up and down the corridor and the sighed. “I’m sorry. He’s just…he’s come very close to losing him before, and this wouldn’t be the first loss we’ve had to deal with.” she looked away.

Blaine nodded in understanding, realisation dawning along with relief. And a prick of guilt. “You’re Carole. Finn’s mom.” She turned back “Kurt told me,” he explained, “I’m sorry you have to go through it all again.”

She shook her head “with Finn it was sudden, there was none of this hoping and praying he’d get better. One day he was there, the next he wasn’t.”

Blaine almost laughed. One minute he and Kurt had been planning their escape, leaving everything behind, and the next Blaine is wondering if he’ll ever leave Hong Kong a happy man.

“He’ll get better through.” Blaine assured her, and without really knowing why, he reached out and took her hand. “He’s off the sedative, and he hasn’t lost any more blood. He’ll be okay. I know it.” he was speaking more to himself than her.

She smiled. “You really know him don’t you?”

Blaine chewed his lip but didn’t answer.

She watched him for another second, and then joined him on the step. “I’m not sure I really have a right to say this, but you probably meant a lot to him.”

Blaine held himself back from correcting her tense, but nodded all the same.

“From what we heard off him last, he didn’t think he’d ever get to pilot, didn’t think he’d find anyone.”

Blaine frowned “you mean he’d tried before?”

It was Carole’s turn to frown “did he not tell you? He’d been on at the Marshall for months, but he was always turned away. He wasn’t deemed ready enough or something. They didn’t think he could take it.”

Blaine looked down at his hands and thought. Why now? Why had the Marshall kept Kurt at bay for so long?

“Would you excuse me for a minute?” he said, standing with a thought bouncing around his brain like a frisbee. At the end of the corridor he turned back and shot Carole a small smile “Thank you. And he’ll be fine”

He left her with a nod and began jogging along and around until he reached the room he was looking for. He hesitated at the door, hand half a foot away from knocking. He dropped it, and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers to hold off the headache that was creeping up on him. _Keep your shit together_.

Before he had chance to raise his hand again the door opened and Blaine had to crane his neck to meet the man’s eyes.

Neither of them spoke for a minute, until Blaine got up the courage to say the first word.

“When did you get here?” he asked bluntly. Finn’s brow creased and he looked once up and down the corridors.

“How’s Kurt?” he asked.

“Answer first.” Blaine insisted “Then I’ll tell you.”

“Does it really matter?” He breathed, propping his hands up on either side of his door.

“I could mean the difference between Kurt forgiving you or not so yes, it’s important.”

“I don’t know man, why do you give a crap?” he shrugged and stepped out of the room fully, pulling the door closed behind him. He pushed past Blaine and began off down the corridor. Blaine took a breath.

“Because he’s in my life, and he’s hopefully going to be in my life for a very long time, and I’ve been in his head“ he explained, pushing the memory back ‘ _god I wish I’d apologised ’_ “I know he wants to forgive you.”

Finn paused at the end of the corridor and turned back “so he’s going to be okay?”

“I don’t know Finn,” he threw his hands up in the air, descending to floor level “but I know he would never forgive you if he knew it was you that kept him from piloting.”

Finn frowned. “You really don’t get it do you?” Blaine said quietly, “you don’t get it at all. Being a pilot means giving up everything that you are to another person, having to face your biggest fears, the ones you never want to relive again. His biggest fear, the memory he never wanted to surface again? Losing you.”

“I-I don’t understand” Finn stammered.

Blaine sighed, pulling out the radio phone he had slid into his back pocket, it vibrated wildly in his hand. “And you never will. Yeah?” he answered, turning with the device in his hand.

 

“ _Blaine you gotta get down here._ ”

“Kim, what?” His heart dropped and he stopped dead. “its Kurt isn’t it, fuck I’ll be right there.”

“ _Hurry!_ ”

He jammed the device into his pocket and set off at a run, only noticing once he’d rounded the first corner that Finn was following him. He skidded to a halt and turned. “No. He said harshly. “You can’t come.”

“He’s my brother!” Finn exclaimed.

“Yeah? Well guess who else is here? Burt. And you know who’s come with him. Stay away Finn.”

Blaine stayed stationary long enough to see the man mouth the word _mom_ before he was spinning and sprinting again, catching his hands on the wall to hurtle himself around corners without tripping. His lungs burned with the exertion, and his legs protested more than they ever had before, but he had to get to Kurt. He’d never needed anything more in his life.

He found the corridor empty when he reached it, and bombarded his way into Kurt’s room. The bed was surrounded by a myriad of personnel, some in army combats, other lab coats. He spied Kurt’s father stood in the corner of the room looking horrified, a trembling Carole holding him tightly.

“KIM!” he called over the din of beeps and voices, “KIM! There you- what’s happening?”

“He keeps crashing.” She explained breathlessly. Her hands were gloved, hair flying everywhere around her face “we can’t figure out why. He’s not lost any more blood, we fixed all of the internal injuries. There’s no reason for it.”

Blaine looked quickly back at Burt who was eyeing him nervously, and then with a grunt, began pushing his way through to Kurt. The doctors protested but Kim shut them down, telling them to give him some space. The beeping on the monitor was irregular, sporadic. Kurt’s mouth was open, body flat against the bed and not propped and comfortable like it had been a few minutes ago. He looked abandoned, small and alone in somebody else’s clothes, with somebody else’s face. He didn’t look like the Kurt he knew, the one that had giggled at the nonsense they whispered to each other between kisses just 72 hours previously.

Blaine reached for his hand, letting the other one trace a line across Kurt’s hairline. “Come on Kurt,” he muttered “don’t do this.”

Slowly, his heartbeat evened out and Blaine began to hope.

Until it crashed again.

For a second he felt like he’d been transplanted into an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, the significant other who was always bundled away to wait behind closed doors. But he resisted, kept his body inside the room, even as Burt and Carole were escorted out. The beep was constant now, and limbs blurred like his vision as they reached for paddles and pulled down the blanket covering Kurt to expose bruised and damaged skin across his chest.

They were so different from the one’s left there by Blaine’s lips, ghosts of hurt, not love and it struck Blaine all over again, all that Kurt represented. Rebirth, second chances, a hand in the dark, fresh air from an open window, wings, flight.

Love.

All too soon the doctors were backing away, but Blaine was transfixed, not hearing the words, not feeling the pats or the rubs. He moved forward, knocking into human beings that didn’t matter. His fingers traced up Kurt’s still chest, reached around his shoulder, pulled with what strength he had left, cradled and gripped with all his might, held him as close as he could, let their heart beats patter out an unknown rhythm.

Beat.

Beat -  _beat._

Beat.

“…beat…his – his heart…” he murmured, pulling back. Kurt’s neck was limp, head1 falling backwards away from him. Confused, he pressed an ear into the pace between his collar bone and neck. It rattled, just like it had in the Jaeger.

He was breathing,

He was alive.

“KIM!” he screamed, holding Kurt as upright as he could “KIM HE’S STILL BREATHING.”

The woman came rushing into the room, one glove already off. She looked at Blaine, holding Kurt up like a puppet, and her face lit up.

“Lie him down again!” she ordered, ushering him off. Barely daring to breathe Blaine stood and watched and she felt around his chest and navel. And then, she lifted a hand as high as she could, and slammed it down into the middle of the man’s chest.

He took a breath at the same time, and Kurt choked, jerking to the side as a dark substance spouted from his lips. He coughed, harder than Blaine thought possible for a human being to cough. Blaine rushed forward and took Kim’s place, holding his shoulders until he rolled onto his back again, chest heaving.

“Kurt, Kurt” Blaine cupped his cheek, one knee on the bed as he looked for a sign of life on his face. “Hey, Kurt.”

Kurt breathed, deeply, eyes still closed. “Kurt please.” Blaine pleaded, heart hammering in his chest “Please.” his face was wet, hands shaking around Kurt’s cheeks. He pushed one through his hair to give it something to do, and leaned forward to press a hard kiss to his forehead. Then he left his face there, letting Kurt’s breath wash over his face. “Please.” he breathed one more time, letting sobs wrack his body.

Just breathe. In. and out. Again. Again.

“Ow.”

Blaine shot upright, looking into Kurt’s face again. His eyes were open a fraction, glossed over and bloodshot, but open, awake,  _alive._

Blaine let out a weak laugh, and then harder, until he was half laughing half crying into Kurt’s shoulder.

“Blaine,” Kurt said softly “ow.”

“Sorry sorry.” he apologised, lifting his head. He pushed his hand through Kurt’s hair again, stroking a thumb just under his eye, like he had before. “Wow.”

“Miss me?” he croaked. Blaine almost poked him in the stomach but avoided it in favour of pressing his lips as hard as he could into Kurt’s, drinking his presence in. In less than a minute he’d turned grey into yellow, blue into red. Cold into warmth. His heart fluttered, skin buzzed with the piece that had slipped into place all over.

In that moment he knew exactly what it felt like to be whole.

The kiss turned into a soft pressure of lips against cheeks and nose and chin. Kurt’s hand reached for Blaine’s waist and all of a sudden he was lying down, curling into Kurt’s side and gripping as if he’d never let go.

And he never wanted to.

“Please don’t leave again.” Blaine murmured.

Kurt made a non-committal noise and turned his head to kiss Blaine again. Eventually they were joined by a comforting hand, a deep voice, but they didn’t move. Neither of them dared to move out of place, to break apart, to lose that little piece of the jigsaw that could only be found after everything had been lost.

The silence in the room, the emptiness as day turned into night was as much of an ‘I love you’ as they needed.

 


	3. In the forests of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When all is said and done, Kurt and Blaine must find a way to carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the epilogue! This was a fic that consumed a lot of my time, and one that sits very close to my heart. To this day it's one of the most gratifying pieces of fiction I've ever written, and I'm forever thankful for the love of both of these source works, for giving me the opportunity to write it.

It’s spring. There is blossom in the air, floating down the sidewalk next to him as a gentle reminder that things are living, and time was moving on.

The weather is warm, inordinately warm for San Francisco as they approach summer, with the kind of attitude that had people lounging around in the sun too much, and behind desks a little less. They are alive, they are thankful. Work can wait.

Blaine strides his journey half torn between a burning need to walk faster, and a want to draw the feeling of anticipation out further, put off the relief, so it’s that much more potent when it arrives.

A jacket swings at his side, but he knows he won’t need it. His nature stops him from leaving anywhere without back up though, but maybe time will change that. His shirt is short sleeved, and a pale shade of blue, fastened to the top button which is covered by a neatly positioned, polka dot bow tie. His ankles show, his hair is loose, and brighter than ever. He might have been mistaken for the teenager that once strolled the streets of Ohio, not the twenty something who had suffered heartbreak and pain and rebirth. Now he saunters with confidence, in a city that is finally starting to feel like home.

Because it’s where Kurt is.

As he enters the park, he pauses to take in the view. A family here, a lone worker on his lunch break there. He takes the gentle slope at a steady pace, savouring the smell of picnics and grass and contentment. When he spots the group, he smiles. Who knew he would find a family like this one?

Rachel runs up to him first, linking her arm through his and dragging him along.

“I specifically only brought vegan because I know you and Kurt are on crazy diets.”

“Thank you.” He says, and means it.

There’s Burt, and Carole, and Finn, who Rachel places herself carefully next to. They keep their distance, but Blaine notes the look they give each other as she sinks onto her knees, and know it won’t be long.

Things just need time to mend, and heal.

There’s a stranger too, with too bright blonde hair that Kurt would probably say had come out of a bottle. Rachel introduces him as Sam.

“He’s into Star wars and Guitars.”

And after Sam does his best Harrison Ford impression over their hand shake, Blaine knows they’re going to get on just fine.

They eat, and drink (the bear isn’t vegan but he drinks it anyway) and chatter and laugh, but Blaine stays quiet.

It’s when Rachel cracks a joke about it being due to his lack of sex, and Burt is cringing and shaking his head, when Blaine sees him, and climbs to his feet. People turn their heads, let out cries of relief and pride and clamber to their feet, just to tackle the man in a cacophony of hugs and kisses. Blaine just smiles and Kurt smiles back, over the shoulder of every friend and family member.

Half a world away Raleigh Becket and Mako Mori are drowning in glory, but right here right now, Kurt is walking towards him with a look of adoration on is face and when he surges the last few feet to meet him, Blaine feels the jigsaw piece fall right back into place, like it had never been missing.

The embrace turns quickly into something that involves much more mouth and lips and the ghosts of tears on their faces that they know will be shed when they are alone, wrapped up in each other, finally feeling safe, and knowing they always will be, if they have each other.

Now though, it’s Carole’s turn to laugh and verbally drag them away from each other because come on guys, this is a public place.

They sit pressed up next to each other all afternoon, only parting so Blaine can join in on the game of Frisbee, while Kurt watches and smiles softly. When he grimaces, Blaine frowns, and Kurt shakes his head, kisses his cheek to reassure him, murmurs an ‘I’m okay, I promise.’ They may be safe, the world may finally be returning to normal, but there are some things that take a little longer to heal, but Blaine knows he’ll make up for it in the kisses he’ll give the scar when he gets the chance. 

The sun begins to set, and the wind picks up, and people are yawning and saying their goodbyes. Blaine and Sam swap numbers, Carole and Rachel are holding hands and talking happily. In the distance Finn can be seen hugging Kurt, and there’s a smile on his face.

Burt approaches Blaine when the rest of the group are starting back up the hill, nudges him in the shoulder and nods, thanks him, and shakes his hand. Blaine grins, and feels like he couldn’t be happier. The man stood a little way away with his hand held out, the blue in his hair glowing in the sunset, makes him beg to differ.

They leave the family behind, hands entwined and wordless. The hairs on Blaine’s arms are standing on end, whether because of the rising wind, nerves, or just being so close to Kurt again, he doesn’t know, or want to hazard a guess at. When they reach the end of the path, and emerge onto the edge of the cliffs, Blaine lets the view take his breath away, not for the first time. The tide pushes and pulls at the water in some kind of dance, approaching the sand and then retreating. Some lunar ritual of tasting, on the tip of your tongue, but never quite having enough. The feeling fills his body, fresh air filling his lungs, Kurt’s warmth seeping into his skin and reaching every crevice to heal him to put him back together again. Neither of them had ever been broken, or different; what they had been was hidden, waiting for somebody to pull them back into the light. Now, with Kurt’s profile illuminated by the force that keeps the planet alive, the stillness and power that comes with bird song at dusk, as if they defy nature’s calling for rest and retirement, filling the air, Blaine has never felt more alive.

They defied odds, refused to bow to nature or fate or whatever it is that controls the paths of their lives. Blaine knows now that they will keep defying, keep standing tall, and never let a punch or blow push them down into the darkness again.

Kurt’s little finger is linked with his, holding them together in such a small but significant way, that it feels like the most natural thing in the world when Blaine gets down on one knee and pulls out the box.

Although really, they don’t need a ring to know that they will never be able to live without one another again.

They had been in each other all along.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a second part and epilogue on its way, don't you worry! Expect in the next couple of days. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
